WHAT the Hell

No seriously. What. Who does this bloody Arindam Chaudhuri THINK he is?
He wrote this article on Slumdog Millionaire. Click link and open in new tab.

Don't see "Slumdog Millionaire". It sucks!
By Arindam Chaudhuri

I saw it on Monday, at the bottom of a full page ad for IIPM. Very relevant no, to IIPM, this article? And I was too appalled to read it. It also appeared as the editorial in one of our newspapers the following day I think.

This is someone that people respect and admire. He's won awards. He's supposed to be a role model, a celebrity. Who knew he was such a lunatic? WHAT the hell is wrong with him?

First of all, (and it may seem trivial, but it is not to me) his grammar is COMPLETELY off in places. "Don't see" I believe.

Secondly, WHY go to such lengths?
Okay, you didnt like the movie. Fine. Why write a freaking editorial about it?
Do we not have more pressing things to give importance to?
And why be so extremist? And why give it such a childish and ridiculous headline?
I am not the only one thinking he must have some sort of ulterior motive here.
Why make it occupy a quarter of full page ad for IIPM for chrissake. Why put it everywhere? Why make it THAT public? Perhaps he has something to gain from the failure of this movie at the box office. Notice he says at the end:

Don’t even waste your time watching this film in the theatres.

Why mention in theatres unless he had box office results in mind?

Notice how the article stresses more on how one should NOT GO SEE the movie. Why not say, Go watch it, and see what rubbish it is? Go watch it, and see how we're being portrayed? Why say Dont go see it so often in the article, and give it that ridiculous, irrational Headline? It seems as though this man has all the wrong interests at heart.

Thirdly, he is really extremist in his views. You can't be so illogical ya! Especially when you are someone that important. Ack, Im too angry to write. Here are some ridiculous things he's said. Actually the whole article is ridiculous. But here:

While “Salaam Bombay” had realism, “Slumdog…” is just every scrap of dirt picked up from every corner and piled up together to try and hit back at the growing might of India.

Really now. Picked up and made to hit back at the growing might of India.
Im sure that's what they had in mind while making the film. Let us try and hit back at the growing might of India.
Talk about irrational. This idiot (and Im sorry Im being abusive, but Im angry) has NO IDEA about films Im telling you. NO IDEA. What about some of the shoddy unrealistic films that he's produced?

The real slumdogs who’ve hit the jackpot after wallowing in acres of human waste are the makers of this film who are now raking in millions while those court jesters who’ve critiqued the film and showered tributes and awards need to ask themselves why, scores of years after our independence, they still feel the need to suck up to the gora sahibs.

WHAT? Who is sucking up to the gora sahibs? I understand you have great fascination for the word "suck" Mr Chaudhury, but please!

It illogically shows every negative thing about India happening in the protagonist’s life... slums, open-air lavatories, riots, underworld, prostitution, brothels, child labour, begging, blinding and maiming of kids to make them into ‘better beggars’, petty peddlers, traffic jams, irresponsible call centre executives…

YOU are illogical. The movie is based on a BOOK. The book was written by an INDIAN. Who Im sure had no intention of hitting back at the growing might of India.

I agree that perhaps the movie might give people abroad a bad idea about India. And I wish that during Interviews and the publicity that they had stressed that this was just one aspect of India. But it's a movie, and a darn good one at that, and anyone doing business with us would know our country is a lot more than the slums. I don't see how much harm it could cause.

It is depressing to read some of the comments by the empty headed who look to the likes of him for their opinions. "Yes sir you are complete totally 100% completely true and right please admit me in your IIPM I have scored 50% marks." *barf*

I am however, slightly mollified by the number of comments that disagree with him on his blog. And I shall paste a few here.

(I would, but it is wrecking havoc on my blog saying html error and changing the font colours to flourescent blue and pink, and I cant do that to my blog. Flourescent blue. No.
I will try later, to paste these heart lifting comments. Know that they are there.)

And I say:
Dude you are completely off your rocker. Please go get head checked asap.

I would like to be have been more coherent here but I am too LIVID.

Even that Mangalore thing is driving me crazy. Srirama Sene I believe. Are there so many nutcases in the world? Really? It's depressing.

Tomorrow advertising exam. I should probably go study.

Oh look, it's one of those posts where she talks about the exams and how much they're killing her...

Run, run for cover... Quickly, before you get sucked into the long drawn out journey that is this post, a downward spiral into complete and utter...



too late.

Hello there. Im notsovery happy at the moment.

Why, you ask incredulously with raised eyebrow?
It's the exams, my friend. They're here again.

Except this time, they are a lot worse.

How, you ask incredulously with raised eyebrow?
Because this time, I really dont care anymore how well I do. It's like Shar and I were talking about, there is JUST no motivation.

Look first of all, it's all just too bloody boring.
There are just so many other things we do in our course and outside of it that give us more of a sense of fulfillment than getting marks in these crazy exams do. And having to read all this garbage so boring in comparison.

It's like the Arousal Theory of Motivation, you know? It's not challenging enough for you to want to start. At least, the practical things were more challenging than this is.

So studying during the day? Fuh-ged about it.
I try to find my books at 11pm and open them. I try to read them. But EVERYFRICKINTHING ELSE is just so much more interesting.

Staring into space daydreaming: More interesting
Writing entire blogposts in my head: More interesting
Listening to songs Im already sick of: More interesting
Staring at ceiling fan for 45 minutes: More interesting
Even The Ellen Degeneres Show *closes eyes in resignation*: More interesting!

It's come to this.

Now this isnt to say that it wasnt all boring before. It was. Except then, I actually cared a twiddle about doing well.
Before, marks meant a lot to me (I am Iyengari, how could they not?). Before, I was all like Yay I topped second semester, yay! came second in third semester! (or something... who keeps track of these things anyway? I do.)
Before, I'd get a little panicked the day before and start studying at around 11pm. Because I'd want to do well. That made me.

Now I dont particularly want to do well anymore. I have stopped caring. And that particular point my children, is when you know that you have lost all hope.

So now what's happening is this: I manage to kick myself to start (because I am a scooter) by around 11pm. Then all the daydreaming and doing anything else I possibly can other than study happens until 3am. Then I finish everything between 3 and 4 am.
It is just not possible for me to do it any other way.

My sleep cycle's all haywire, so thats a lot of fun.

On an unrelated note, a pesky friend of mine who's come over tonight managed to post on my blog, what was meant to go on one of her own private blogs, and I have been spending the past half an hour scrambling around deleting it. On the bright side, it got me to write this post which is long over due... my blog has been dead for ages... so yay!

Also, I must again mention that several things that have happened have gone undocumented, so upcoming posts will mostly be me reliving the past.
Betchya looking forward to that arent you?
Ta then!

To Ad it All Up/ A Summery II/ Thirty Days of Torture/ Internship at an ad agency

There are two kinds of posts: Those you cant for the LOVE OF GOD think up a title for, and those that you have too many for. This is one of the latter.

Let me just mention before I start this post, that one of the purposes of this blog is for me to have a record of all the things I've done. This is so that I can go over it all when Im 74, force my grandkids to read it at gunpoint, and lament weakly over how I didnt do it all better.
However, over these past few months, it has managed to most magnificently fail this very same purpose. As I have mentioned earlier, huge portions of the summer and the misery that was this June have gone completely undocumented.
So what will follow now, is an attempt to rectify this gross inadequacy, through the means of a few small and easy, albeit sporadic steps.

Beginning with the internship, which happened in April-May. It seems like a hundred years ago. Really.

Best parts:
The work. Frankly, I ended up with quite a big portfolio. Which will come in very useful, I daresay, should I choose to take up media in the future. However, since that looks highly unlikely at the moment, woo hoo.

Hark! Here is an example of the work I did:


They gave us a creative brief, telling us the details of the project. I came up with the idea, copy (that's ad lingo for "the words") and had to search for the image (Shutterstock, how I grew to dislike the sight of your webpage during these thirty days). The layout our Creative Director did. I did come up with several less cliche ideas, but this was the one they said "worked best". So okay. There you go.

Then there was the ad shoot mentioned earlier. (I'll never forget what an absolute doll Oshmunch was then). What the hell. I shall put up the pictures even though they embarrass the hell outta me.















Yes, so there was that.
Then there was the Other MM sitting two cubicles behind me. Thank god for our chats and conversation (which we interspersed with small amounts of work). Dunno how I'd have survived without her there. And Osh amusing me with her Circle incidents. I think I was exceedingly rude, poor chap. Bah, but if you have that thin a skin, I cant help you.

Coming up with ideas, I really liked. That was clearly what I was best at. (I was NOT adept at searching for images, which I'd to do a lot of, and found quite frankly, torturous.)
Ideas, I liked. In fact, I shall gloat a little and paste a little note the boss sent around. :)
(Give me a break, it was like the high point of my internship.)

A note from Shenoy
Dear all of you who gave it their best lines for the Infosys faces campaign,
finally six lines have been shortlisted for presentation to the client. And the only ones that made it to the final list are all three from Madhu, and three from me.

Good show Madhu!

And guys, think about why yours didn't make it through. Maybe you were either too busy/overloaded with regular work or just didn't think things through/persist with it enough. Or both.

yours truly,
The 'i-have-infosys-coming-out-of-

my-ears' face of TG Shenoy

*gloats a little more*

People were nice too, some of em. Liked Artsy and Wildlifebuff the best. Oh my god, Oshmunch and I came up with nick/codenames for all of them, to use in our conversations. :D I cannot remember any of them now. Oh wait, Pedophile! And Egg!

We communicated via gtalk, all of us. Osh and I have had a hundred chats at least in those thirty days. We were sitting what, 15 ft away from each other? :D
Osh: Im borrrrrred as hell... what u doing?
MM: Staring at screen. 11.45 we'll go off for lunch ok?
Osh: Godforsaken office.
MM: Egg alert! Egg Alert! Switch window!

The internship had its several thousand frustrating moments also. I remember coming here and reading the bit I'd written in the April Update... and wanting to literally throw up.
Some of my more mundane jobs included editing a Gormless-Lady-type Word Document to make it presentable to the public for an employee newsletter for this company.
Some of the more delectable excerpts from this word docu describing an office party (please read each word carefully):

Sweets were distributed to sweeten the day.

Finally, all too soon, it was time to leave but we look forward to this wonderful experience again, and you people don’t get envious because for that night we were surely the lucky one.

It damn near killed me. I cannot stand Gormless-Lady-Type English. Especially written Gormless-Lady-Type English. Aaaargh. Almost died that day.

To ad it all up, there was good, there was bad, there was ugly. And here are some pics of the workplace.

What the HAY???

I just found out that the MTV website has frickin "featured" my blog on it's "bloggers' belt"
http://www.mtvindia.com/blogs/

What the? Nobody asked my permission! What the hell is going on? Dont they have to NOTIFY the bloggers at least before putting the darn thing up?

And what's all this about 106 views?? They havent showed up on my sitemeter. Whats the hay is happening here??

Tomorrow I call up HR of this MTV thing and talk to them about this. WHat the!!!

Here's the site

And there I am, number 5.


Arent they supposed to ask first? Or at least inform??
You cant just put up somene's site like that.

And bloody, MY site isnt getting any hits! They are! My blog opens under their website!! See that?? Look at the URL!!


How can they do that?!

*is very affronted*

May Update

Bits written hurriedly over May. ____________________________________________________________________

There were so many times I remember Osh saying to me this month amidst much laughter... "Man, that's something that we HAVE to put on our blogs."
But none can I remember.
Was it about the Sharudog at Javacity?
Was it about what a pain Circle was being yet again?
Was it about going to the hospital for your arm, munch?
Was it about the waiter at Lazio?
So much more, I remember there was! I cant remember what. :|
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Ok the modelling thing. Im so tired of telling the story, I cannot tell you. Bottom line is, I went to an ad shoot as an intern to see how the whole thing goes, but ended up being shot for a bill board poster for Bosch Car Service. Photographer said I had a "very fresh face" (I wonder if he knows what he's talking about.)
It was a nice experience, the make up and limelight in the studio and the sound of the camera clicking. Nice feeling. And everyone was supremely sweet.
Actress Sanjana was also shot, and the clients will choose which they like better. I hope to God they dont pick mine, I dont think I want my face splashed around Bangalore, although since I've already signed the model release papers I dont think i have much of a say in it now. :|
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Shopping shopping... Oh how I lurves the shopping. Yay! *does happy dance*
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The weekend before last was supposed to be spent elsewhere, but that didnt happen. So instead we spent it at the Dungeon. I have grown used to the Dungeon. It has become a sort of second home for me and Snum. Osh of course, lives there permanently. Snum and Osh are fun people to have around when you're in a dungeon. :)
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Cant sleep? Watch Chapter 27. Worked on Osh and Snum like a charm.
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Osh lent me She's the Man with Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum (said in annoying high pitched voice) which I thoroughly enjoyed. Snum and Osh have been going on and on about this guy for the past month or so and until I watched the movie I was under the impression that they were cooing about a 'Shining Tater'. :| Naturally I just ignored them.
But now I know what all the fuss is about. *sigh*
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This has been a month of those anonymous calls and messages. Today someone called and spoke to me in kannada.
The dude is like in a professional voice and all: Hello. Yes, its me. You wrote your number on my hand in the bus yesterday? *waits for me to continue*
You'll excuse me for being confused, I woke up to the call and was still a bit morning dazed. So I spent a moment trying to remember if I had in fact been on a bus yesterday and written my number on someone's hand. When my brain confirmed that I most certainly hadnt, I realised this guy was a bit of a goof and hung up.

And dont you hate the anonymous messages? They really irk the living daylights out of me. And I've been getting a surplus of those anonymous messages lately for some reason.

Anon: hiiiiiiii!

Me: Hi. Im sorry, dont have your number stored

Anon: Ay.... GESSSSSS huuuu????

Me: I told you, I dont know. Tell me, I'll store your number.

And even 20 messages later-

Anon: No no Uuu GESSSS

At least if they were intelligent or worded well they'd be bearable. But no. Half the time it's some crazy freak, and the other half its one of your annoying friends playing a trick on you. I'd ignore or be rude back to them, if only I weren't afraid that it might be some acquaintance that I'll totally offend. But all I want to say is blah. I dont care. You're a waste of my effing currency.
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I was taking to Taru the other day about how I havent gotten over death yet, but all these med students have. They've gotten accustomed to it. Desensitised. Speak of it in a fairly cavalier manner. I cant. Read his post Mountains in the Clouds.

Taru can also talk of bowel movements with friends without cringing. He's on the path to becoming one helluva great doctor. :)
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And also, I finally SAID what I needed to say.
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I Cant Sleep

Well, here I am. Its three frickin fifteen AM and I cant sleep. Wonderful situation to be in, you agree?

But why you ask, this wakefulness? Oh, a combination of factors really. Cant place my finger on what exactly.

It might be the sweltering heat that has descended upon the city.
It might be because Im hungry, because I skipped dinner, because its summer and thats when I lose the will to ingest food (Catch me being that way any other time of year.)
It might be that goshdarned mosquito that cant take its goddamn proboscis off me.
It might be because Im angry and am swearing too much.

OR
it could be because I got up at noon today.
Bloody study holidays. I swear I havent witnessed the morning for three days.

My mum has taken to cutting articles from newspapers and reading them out to me in severe tones as I groggily open my eyes each lunchtime.
"Why do you insist on being a Night Owl MM? Eh? Why cant you be an Early Bird? The health benefits are so much better. No doubt Night Owls are more creative and interesting as compared to well... the rather boring Early Birds, says this article that has so many references, but statistics prove that they have twice as many health problems MM. Twice."

*Grunt grumble groan snooze.*

I think Ive established from the past week or so that I am ABSOLUTELY NOT a morning person. I'm barely alive between the hours of 6 and 11 in the morning.

I exaggerate, of course.
*Rolls eyes.*
I have been able to keep awake during the exams - 9.30 to 12.30am. (With the exception of General English- snooze fest if ever there was one.)

Nevertheless, my body clock has been well and truly destroyed this March- April. Smashed against a wall of granite, steamrolled by a gigantic truck, thrown off the Grand Canyon, whichever your imagination pleases. I doubt I shall ever be the same. My health is ruined and I have shaved off 10 years of my life. Nice accomplishment I think, for this month.

On a celebratory note, I wrote my last Sanskrit exam on the 11th. My last sanskrit exam EVER! (I do not think I will fail this one, unless the Gormless Lady reads this post. Fingers crossed.)

So bring out the champagne!
Never again EVER will have to attend those absolutely meaningless classes.
Never again will I have to stare at her lip movements in a desperate attempt to make sense of what shes saying.
Never again will I have to worry that she's secretly plotting to fail us all (which she did first sem mid term)
Never again will I have to pretend to like her, smile sickeningly at her (that took effort), and be polite to her when I was seething with rage from within.

Ah the Gormess Lady has gotten on many a nerve. She's stomped on them all in fact.
But now its over.
OVER!!!
And in celebration I shall write a little free verse addressed to her.

Go jump
in a
Well.

The particular well you
so eloquently
described
In third sem text book:

"If yany fuvar legged animal is going to be
dying
in a vell,
then what we must be going to be doing is,
to be
DRAYNING the vell,
and wiping the
REMAYNING water with a cloth."

Go jump
in that
Well.

A Random Bit of Jan-Feb

A post scribbled sporadically over Jan and Feb.

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I have to have to have to make a little mention about a small obsession I once had with a band that call themselves McFly. I was in love with them. Yes. Well and truly.
It was Snum who first introduced me to them.
"MM, you have GOT to check out McFly... you know, that non descript band from Just My Luck, the movie starring Lindsay Lohan that we watched in the theatres ages ago and bitched about constantly for months after?"
"Oh them. Pshaw."
"No really. They're hot. Not to mention hilarious."
So I grudgingly went down to YouTube and watched a couple of their vids.
The four of them together are absolutely hilarious. I was in love. With them all.

Now that is all just so January.

Now I'm just in love with Tom Fletcher. I shall marry him one day. Just see if I dont.
Only kidding.
Snum however is still completely insanely madly obsessed with them. Oh my munch, when will you grow out of these crazed fads?

I am also in love with SteandKel. If YOU can understand their accents and think they're hilarious, contact me ASAP!
18.03.07 PS: Their latest video is crap. Try their earlier ones.
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The Exams. Well whatever. I totally messed up sanskrit (would you blame me?) and opt eng. *makes wry face*
Photography everyone finished in one hour. The last half hour Y was turning around and making weird faces at me, there was that much time left and everyone was so bored, the paper was that effortless.
I have a feeling this should really depress me, but Im choosing to let it entertain me, just for now.
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I was still writing during the last fifteen minutes of photography exam, and was much rebuked by classmates for this. I would like to take this opportunity to explain why.
It wasnt because I was attempting all the questions twice, or because I wrote ten pages for each 2 mark question.

The secret is, Im a procrastinator.

There, Ive said it.
If I have two hours to do something, I wont bloody finish it off in the first hour. I'll sit there and crib in my head about how boring it is. I'll sleep. I'll even day dream. And in the last half an hour, I will get to writing.
Its not the best way of doing things, I agree, but it is more challenging. If you finish it all off too early, you dont feel like you've accomplished anything. But if theres this nailbiting finish, and a struggle to finish on time, you feel like you've actually done something at the end of it all.
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The munches are the same way. Thats why our psych stall went up just a little bit late. But we got 20 on 20 for it. Yay! We did do a good job, even if I do say so myself. The topic was what made it really interesting. "
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Su2's birthday. Treated us in that rooftop place the sweetheart. It was fun, except for the puke inducing orange shirts of the world. And the back sprain. And the dude that gave us a bar of chocolate, which Snum promptly put in the little bill book as a tip for the waiter.

Su1's birthday. I like how we were dropped back in style. And how we got to party despite the ban (shh) which I do not think we'll be able to do for a while now. The funnest part was being with the munches, after, before, during. :)
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Jodhaa Akbar was quite nice. I loved the costumes and jewelery *gives girly sigh* And Hrithik *girlier sigh*
Enchanted we watched by mistake, but it wasnt too bad. Osh was unbelievably embarrassing though :D
Jumper was kinda cool. And Hayden Christensen is HOT. I totally enjoyed Shattered Glass.
Osh is obsessed with PS I Love You. Says it brilliantly she does, the munch.

We are all now officially broke.
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The Gormless Lady- A Passage

Somehow or the other, the Gormless Lady always manages to feature a lot here at Leaves.
She irks me so.

She recently gave us a bit of indigestion over our CIA (Continious Internal Assessment) and threatened to give me Y and Su1 zero marks out of 20.
("Seeee, you are all going to be taking this too lightly. And so I am going to be having to take some measures for this. Because otherwise you people will never be learning.")
But she cooled down after four days and allowed us to present our assignment which went off quite ok.

I have no one to really rant about it all with. My classmates who've taken this blessed language- RampagingBull, Y and Su1 to name a few- are all pretty much resigned to the whole thing. They couldnt be less bothered that she has massacred both logic and the english language and handed it over to us in a small sickly yellow book that cost us each 60 bucks. And which she refused to let us xerox for 10 bucks instead.
But I just cant get over the whole thing. And Leaves is the perfect outlet for my frustrations.

A passage of translation from her text book. Word for word. Down to the last punctuation mark. Now YOU tell me what you'd write in one of her exams.

"Those who after gaining knowledge, but never respects teaches even though living near to them, never service them ion mind, words or by action, for them excess they sin due to them killing a child will be affecting other than these no one will be more sinful like it is duty of teacher to lead the student to gain knowledge for self emancipation, in the same manner it is righteous attitude to do services for teacher."

I mean, seriously. It'd be okay if it was just the grammar that was wrong, but if the thing just doesnt make any sense, something has to be said.

Please dont judge my college based on the gormless lady though. They've been tryng to get rid of her forever, but she's just not budging, and she's got a scholorship and is employed by the govt or something, so they cant do anything.
Reason Im feeling friendly to college is because they have realised how stupid they were about the Titan Eye+ vouchers which I mentioned here, that they gave us for topping the class. And as a compensatory measure, they gave us all gift vouchers for Strand Book Stall. Goody.
Also they gave us 700 bucks for winning Creative writing at InBloom.
So I like them now. Yes.

A Random Bit of December

It was a squeeze, but I JUST managed to finish everything on time. Did I stay up till 5.30 in the morning trying to finish the assignments? Was I so dead sleepy in college that I fell asleep while walking to the main gate and had to be picked up and slapped by grumbling friends? Did I have to refuse to go party that night for fear of dying from exhaustion? Why, of course not. *disapproving look*

This 13th hour thing. It's a disease.

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You know how when you're lying down and talking to someone who's sitting up, their chin looks like a nose? And their lower lip looks like an upperlip, and their upper lip looks like a lower lip? And its like there's a face on the bottom half of their real face upside down? And you cant concentrate on what they're saying to you because you're too busy laughing hysterically at the whole charade? No?
Snum does. Thank god I found Snum.
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Message Snum sent me today evening: I am not talking to you ever again. I dislike you immensely. You should go jump off the nearest pole. Climb it... then jump off it.

The reason: I know not. Minor, I'm sure.

Despite these small glitches, Snum and I are best friends.
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I was felicitated. Or as they said "facilitated". For topping the class last sem. (Woo hoo! :)) Nice function it was. Parents were mighty impressed with the state of the art audi and lights and effects and campus and all. Full vaaaav! they were.
But very disappointing was the voucher. From Titan eye+.
Five hundred rupees off on Titan Eye+ goods.
Blah. I know.
Wait there's more.
You only get the discount on purchasing items for Rs 2000 or more.
Talk about crazy. And wait...
No discount on accessories and all. No cool sunglasses, watches and all that.
Only eye glasses :|
So if you dont have power, first develop power (by March 2008, when coupon will expire), then spend Rs 2000 and avail your 500 rupees off discount.

What did you get for topping, MM? Oooo, a chance to spend 1500 bucks from my own pocket, for a pair of glasses I just don't need!
Vaav!

Me, Monkeychild and Other MM had nice time complaining, and taking crazy photos.
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No Birds only in Birds park today. I consider it improvement.
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I notice I am talking very colloquially. Or as gormless lady pronounces it, collokwially.
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Gormless Lady didnt give attendance for this felicitation thing. What the hell.

Also, she says
MoreEVER for MoreOVER

and she says it a lot.

And during attendance she calls out numbers 11 71, 11 72, 11 75 as
"Len senty vun...
Len senty to...
Len senty-fy..."

More reasons why she should be burned at the stake.
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I am for some reason reminded of my seventh standard maths teacher... one of the many we had that year. She had big teeth and she sat on the table not at it. We hated her.
One of her particularly famous dialogues: "Either you will simplify, or I will make you to simplyFLY out of the class."
:|
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Have you seen that video of the baby laughing everytime it tears a sheet of paper? :D
I've been laughing like that a lot lately, its so much fun, and its doing me a world of good.
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A Few Random Thoughts and Rants

A slightly more boring post, but read on, do...
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It's odd how a movie or a book can change your perspective so dramatically for a few days following it. It can alter your mood, change the way you look at things, make you react to something in a completely different way than you otherwise would have, and consequently, affect your life in a very big way.
You need to pick very carefully what you're reading when. Movies, its not so bad- only the really powerful ones affect you. Thats why I just love a good chick flick. Involves you for an hour or two and leave you feeling the same as before, if not more cheerful. No worries about whether they will have an impact on you.
Its scary to think how important every single thing that happens is.
To think what a drastic impact something so small can have on your life, and on other people's lives. As they say,

"For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail."
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Isnt it horrible? The Hyderabad bomb incident. Why why why. Why do there have to be these groups of people who are so senseless and desperate they think killing people en masse will help their cause be heard?
And the photos the newspapers had splashed accross the front page. Did you see them?
Horrible, horrible, the whole thing.
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I could never understand why some people made such a fuss about contributing to the "Sponsor a Child" scheme that our class undertook.

Pay a hundred rupees this year, and as a class you can pay for the entire schooling of one poverty stricken child.

Change the course of that one child's life.
Give him a chance to make something of himself.

We all watch the news, we all hear about the suffering thats happening, and wish we could do something about it.
But we cant.
Its all just too much and too impossible, so we forget about t.

But when you have a chance like this, where a mere hundred rupees from your wallet could change the course of a downtrodden person's life, why would anyone complain?

And yet, some people did.
It angered me NO END.

We CANT do stuff alone. You cant help a person in need by yourself, in a big way. You cant sponsor an education. Nobody expects a student to be able to spend 7,200 to help a child in poverty.

But if as a class, you are given the opportunity to help an indivdual in need to get an education- something that will get him through,
if you can alter the outcome of one person's life,
if you can make a difference, help change the world for the better, however slightly,
by contributing 100 rupees,
why in the hell would you complain about it being a waste of money?

A waste? You're giving somebody something they could only dream of achieving on their own. An education that they wouldnt have a chance in hell of getting without any help.
An education is a huge gift.
I felt relieved that I was going to be able to provide something that meaningful to someone who needed it, just by contributing a hundred rupees. And some people were complaining. Evading it.

A hundred is too much they said. Did they think of what that hundred could do? An education! A hundred from us is giving that child a 7200 he couldnt possibly get otherwise, for an education that will get him through life.

Go without two burgers you might have otherwise had, so that somebody in really bad circumstances can get a shot at making something of himself.

Aaargh, I just had to vent that out.

4.9.07- I've just remembered. It was Snum. She was broke poor thing. And I shouted at her and we had a big fight and all. Hee hee. I got confused and thought it was TheQuickOne. Apparently, TheQuickOne was shouting at Snum too. Snum remembers everything.
_____________________________________________________________________

The media has immense power. Immense. Newspapers especially. They feed opinions. They're shaping people. Its funny to think people like me and Jay actually had a say in that. We were forming opinions. Its too scary to even think about. Ugh, I dont want to have to do that everyday as a job. It would get too tiring that I wouldnt have enough energy to care what I write, and then who knows what harm would I be causing!
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Im extra sensitive today. And by that I dont mean I cried or anything. I mean that things I normally wouldnt break my head over, I am. Things that normally wouldnt make me feel, are. I can tell just by re reading this post. About everything. But a really nice time I had. Thanks to Osh and Nicehair. The breezy restaurant... the awesome food... the relaxing conversation... the lazy shopping... the thrill of a new purchase... the wind in our hair... the pani puri... some good natured cribbing... And to top it all off, a nice long long talk with Bestest that did wonders even though half-finished :)
_____________________________________________________________________

To hell with all those assignments.
_____________________________________________________________________

You know who said these:

***
"Snakes are going to be not having eyes."
"But ma'am, they d..."
"Most of the reptiles are going to be not having eyes. Especially the snakes."

***
"Soma is going to be the one that is going to be a type of plant."

***
"The essence of life live in water is brought to our notice."

***
"Lactic acid cells will enrich the soil and will to be helping the soil, and naturally helping to the mother earth."

(Lactic acid cells? PS comment on this!)

***

She said them I swear! :D
____________________________________________________________________

Ron

Is it just me or did Ron look completely DEAD in the fifth movie?
I mean, did you watch carefully?
I did. *sheepish grin*
And that's what he was-
Dead.
Throughout.

I was carefully watching for a bit of expression or something, but no. Nothing.
It was like he was acting all cool dude. And he's not supposed to be. Not in the fifth book.

Remember that part in the book when they have that important match and Harry's trying to build up Ron's self esteem by recounting to him all the spectacular saves he's made?

And he's like No, Harry in a strangled voice,
That was all a mistake. I fell off my broom in mid air when no one was watching and accidently kicked the quaffle to the far end of the pitch while I was scrambling to get on...
...or something to that effect.
Man that part makes me laugh everytime I read it.

Yeah. Well, Ron-in-the-movie wasnt like that. All goofy.
This Ron had a sort of suppressed look about him. Like he was trying to keep his emotions in check.
Thats it. Right there in the picture.

Nah, well he looks sort of violated in the picture, I cant find one with the exact expression I want, but this one's close enough. Its somewhat similar to the frequent deadpan look he kept regaling us with.

So anyway, the Ron-in-the-movie just wasnt goofy enough.
This Ron was all about the expressionlessness.

"Snape's given us extra homework Ron!" deadpan look

"Your Dad's been attacked by a giant snake Ron!" deadpan look

"Grawp's about to rip my head off Ron!" deadpan look

"Look, we're in the ministry of magic, and there's all the deatheaters, and they're out to get us and, yowch, there's a tentacular brain thingy attached to your head Ron!" deadpan look


Cute, he was though. Im not complaining.

Actually, I dont really remember the movie perfectly. I watched it such a long time ago. But I do remember strongly wishing he'd moved his face about a bit more, and telling Osho and Zz the same. (Jay was just not interested.)
Meanwhile, the reason Im so bad tempered today, is because of these stupid exams which I havent studied for, which have, in addition to being boring, kept me cooped up at home, and which are getting over tomorrow (thank the lord), but which have generally made my life torturous these past couple of days.

One more exam.
And then joy oh joy, college again.

Hitmen

These auto drivers are out to get me ya.
I was almost killed this morning. Very almost.
The bugger was applying the brakes HARD every 1/15 th of a second, each time just missing some humunganormous truck or bus that was moving towards us at breakneck speed.
It felt like he was trying to do away with me and make it look like an accident.
The only consolation was, it looked like he was out to kill other people too, not just me.

My constant tsk-ing didnt help.
Even when I said, after one particularly near miss, "NIDHANKKE HOGI DUDE, PARAVAGILLA!" nothing happened.
He just continued to plough through the streets like some reckless maniac charged with excess adrenalin.

I mean I totally dig Action-Thriller-Suspense movies and all that, but I do NOT need that kind of heavy emotion at eight o' clock in the morning, okay?
Especially because Im never completely awake until around ten... I need at least 3 hours after I get up to become Fully Functional And Alert MM.
If you're jerking me awake every 1/15th of a second and giving me small heart attacks every 7 minutes at 8am in the morning, I'm bound to get a little crabby.

And the offences kept piling up...
Yes yes, PUT on the radio why dont you with one hand while driving.
Does it MATTER that the switch is located under your own seat? NOooo, of COURSE not.
Does is MATTER that there's a Tata Sumo careening its way toward us dangerously? NOooo.
Does it MATTER that the volume is on highest and that the passenger (who is in the prime of her youth) is having her poor eardrums mutilated whilst you switch from station to station? NOooo, NOooo, not at all.
You just keep driving on like a blind man, and we'll just wait and see what happens, alright?

The other day on JC Road, this auto driver (particularly smart one I got this time) decides to pick up his phone. In the MIDDLE of that bleeding junction.
AND, seems to think that speaking on it is more important than weaving the auto in between all that HTV.
I mean, usually, auto drivers pay attention to the roads while talking on their phones.
This one totally FORGOT he was even driving.
I understand he might've been talking to his girlfriend or whatever, but dude, first priority should be Keep Self Alive for Her.
A Tarpaulin blue luxury bus the size of a wooly mammoth almost rammed into the left side of the auto, causing me to scream sense to him for the next 15 minutes, as he drove sheepishly on, phone in pocket.

Why do people drive so badly? Do they all want to die? All Im asking for is a little caution here.

The ride ended off with me almost killing the auto guy. Snapped his head off, I did. Who did he think he was, the git... no change he says mutter mutter... ALREADY late for class I am... making me lose attendance... grumble... forcing me to ask random people off the street for change, the lunatic...... almost KILLING me!

So nonchalant he was. How do they do it? Face death voluntarily so regularly? Why do they do it? Is it that difficult to drive responsibly? One of life's greatest mysteries.

Prehistoric

... was the attitude of the auto driver who took us to Malleshwaram yesterday. I mean come on.

The whole of last semester was about feminism. Psychology seminar, Psychology Fest, Psychotic people, all screaming their lungs out at how women are looked down upon by the entire world.

I'd had enough of it. I hadn't ever experienced any kind of difference in attitudes because I was a girl. These people must just have some kind of need for drama. Perhaps they just needed something to scream about, vent about. That seemed to be the only explanation.
And it kind of defeated the purpose, I thought. If they want equality for women they should stop screaming about the fact that they need special treatment.
They all seemed highly irrational to me.

Anyway all that changed on Thursday. Su2 and I were to go to Malleshwaram CET cell to "get some sensational sob stories ya, so we can write up an article on it."

So we took an auto. Mistake. The auto driver was, unfortunately, a madman.

He told us, "Girls should never wear jeans. Now I'm not saying you're bad girls, but what kind of impression are we supposed to get?"

We were wearing kurtas and jeans, let me just add.

"Now imagine," he says, "What am I to you? Your anna? Or your Chikappa, right?"

Alright, if you say so, although I'd rather not be related to a crackpot like you, increases the chances of passing on the insanity to the children.

"Now, will you sit in front of your anna or chikappa like that?"

Uh, yeah. Why the hell not? You git.

"Girls must only wear sarees. Makes them look decent. So that we men can feel respect for you."

I see. So we should dress with the sole purpose to gain the respect of morons like you. Yes, that is all that occupies our minds. What you think of us. We dont dress to make ourselves feel comfortable or feel good. No, no. We dress to please you, to suit your whims and fancies.

And just then, I caught him stare at a girl crossing the road who was wearing a saree.

Men will stare whatever you wear. We all have to learn to live with that.
Who the hell does he think he's kidding?

"Under the Kumaraswamy government, in 2015, a law will be passed making it compulsory for girls to wear only saree."

WHO does he think he is to decide what the entire population of women across the world should wear? WHO? Does he think he OWNS us?

What if we made it compulsory for men to wear dhothis at all times? Or suits at all times? Nothing but suits? What of it? Ass.

"Also, girls shouldnt wear all these pretty pretty chains."

Ok sir. Yes yes. I shall go home and throw away all my jewelery. Happy?

"I have two daughters"

My heart aches for them.

"My daughter asked for a chain. I said NOTHING DOING. See, women should not want to dress prettily."

Says the moron. URGH!!

I now understand a little bit why all those people were ranting and raving at the psych seminar. I feel the same sort of indignation at the frighteningly prehistoric attitudes some men have.

Recently there were articles in the paper about how they are planning to ban working at late nights for women. I think that is really ridiculous. Really. If your so concerned about safety for women, make the place safer! Don't decide to imprison women! Ha! Madness.
It should be the woman's choice! What if she wants to work late nights and you're not letting her? Last I heard, it was a free country.

I'm reminding myself of those ranting raving ladies. I now understand how its difficult to sound sensible when you're that angry.

What scared me was how rational the auto driver sounded. He didnt look like a person with a mental disorder. His eyes werent rolling and there was no uncontrollable salivation. He was a normal person, with this really abnormal idea.

Lots of people are like this, Su2 tells me.
But isnt it ridiculous?

(De)press-ing Incident

As I've mentioned earlier, The Hellish Thing We HAVE to do Over the Summer has taught me a couple of things.
One of which is, People can be really dumb.

At a college where we'd gone to get info on the 1 PUC Application forms:

Us: Hello! We're coming from the press...

(Bad grammar, I know, but we wanted to make sure that they'd understand us)

Dumbman: (Interupting) Ay, what you want man? What is that?

Us: We're from *The name of the newspaper, repeated twice, loudly and clearly*

Him: Ha, so?

Us:
(thinking) So, do you WANT us to write bad reviews about your college? You absolute MORON.
(aloud) So we'd like to get a bit of informaton on the 1 PUC applications, please.

Him: You cant read the sign or what? 9 to 12 only. Come tomorrow ya.

Jay huffs out in disgust. Me and Su2 remain, persistantly determined to bore through this man's abnormally thick head.

Us: WE'RE FROM THE NEWSPAPERS!
Su2: (under her breath) Do we look like 14 year olds to you, you senseless cow? You sit in a freaking PU college the entire day, for crying out loud!

Idiot: Oh oh. Howda? Wokay. Swalpa wait madi.
(consults with fellow cow)

Us: tap shoes on concrete floor impatiently creating an ironically upbeat rhythm

Dumbman: (Interupting the rhythm in a most impolite manner)
Yinformation ginformation yella kodakagalla.

Su2: (Under her breath) Who's asking for any ginformation?

Me: (persistantly) No, but thumba rush itha ee sati? Application forms ge?

Dumbman: (thinks) Aaaaaathara yenilla... Ashtu iralillaaaa...

Us: (momentarily astounded by the dumbness.)

How could the college place- so strategically- the dumbest employee they had?

Fellow Cow: (observing procedings and deciding to intervene)
Ha medam. Thumba rushu ithu.
(glares at Dumbman, before being called away by someone else.)

Us: (boldly) Nim College alli donation geenation yenadau idiya?

(Geenation, that kills me. How FnA and I laugh about that!)

Dumbman: Avella myangement secrets. Heng helakkagathe?

Su2: (Highly amused at the dumbness, giggles most unprofessionally)

Me: (Highly enraged at the dumbness)
So is that what you want me to put in tomorrow's paper?

Fellow Cow: (surmising trouble from afar, rushes forth and answers some of our questions, mostly with a stout: ) Gotthilla.

We left disgustedly, and spent the next 10 minutes in the auto trying to prevent Jay from calling the Cows back to "Tell them to throw themselves off a &@*%# cliff."

The Hellish Thing We HAVE To Do Over The Summer, Goddammit.

My thoughts on it so far:

1. Bleargh.

2. There's nothing to do!

3. Thank god for Jay, Tenzen and the lot.

4. I had to smile at six random people on MG Road. Six. For the longest time, as I convinced them each that I was not a lunatic out to do stuff on the internet with the pictures we would be taking of them.
Traumatising, it was.
But once they did understand, it was nice to see them excited at the prospect of seeing their photos in the paper the next day. It was cute even. (Awww!)

5. I have learnt how to interpret people's 'Yes', 'No', 'I dont know' answers into articulate 45 word quotes.

6. Interesting Observation:
The general tendency of the public when approached by young "journalists" on the road is as follows:
If it is "boy journalist"- Glare nastily and increase pace three-fold.
If it is "girl journalist" (smiling profusely)- Slow down, look slightly interested, listen to question and answer.
The poor old Bear. Got his ego hurt several times.
Tip: "boy journalists" must slick hair and wear suits when embarking on such expeditions.

The general tendency of the public when approached by young "journalists" on MG road:
Listen politely, smile, laugh at "journalist's" stupid jokes, be altogether quite pleasant and charming.

The general tendency of the public when approached by young "journalists" in Gandhibazaar:
General Fly-Swatting motions with hands, vehement protests, saying they're "not interested", altogether distasteful and purely miffing off behaviour.

7. Always always sneak a bite to eat while on the job.
So far, I've had:
2 one-by-two lime juices. (Silly we are, Jay and me)
The contents of Su2's lunch dabba in the back table of a restaurant so they couldnt find us out.
A strawberry-vanilla softy of which the Other MM had half.
A burger when I wasnt hungry, and when the place was "out of current" and "out of stock" on french fries and icecream, to the Tenzen's disgust.

8. The above rule applies at all times and situations, unless the places you've gone to in order to source information, are on the slightly saner side, and they politely (albeit shoe licking-ly) offer you nice cups of coffee in cute little ethnic mugs and saucers.

9. I've learned to keep out of my "mentor's" hair. Nasty it is, and styled differently everyday.

10. I've learned that some people are just plain DUMB. (refer upcoming posts)

Psychology Seminar- Before

I have to take the candles and the oil for the lamp.
I have to wear the horrid blazer uniform and slowly BAKE in the Assembley Hall which will contain 99 or so other warm blooded human beings.
I have to NOT suffocate from the carbon di oxide being let out by the 99 others.
I have to look busy. (sigh)
I have to usher people. (Bleh's sister is right, that word really does give the wrong impression)
I have to NOT bark at people. Help me Snum!
I have to fight the urge to kill myself.

I have to. Yuck.

A Zz and me Bit: The Zz Code

You havent heard of it?
What... seriously?
Which planet, precisely do you live on?

Rolls eyes and mutters for a bit about how dumb people are getting.

Okay, okay. I forgive you for your ignorance.
Possibly its just that Zz doesnt message you. (Incredulous look that says very clearly,"Yes, there is a high probability that you belong to that 2% of the population.")

Shakes head at what the world is coming to. I mean, we were dumb enough as it was, with all those american duffers we see on TV consistituing such a large portion of the world's population, without people in the vicinity displaying their ignorance with such panache.

Shakes self and decides to move on in the fear that she has lost the attention of the reader already (attention spans these days, god, don't get me started...)

The Zz code.
Or Da Zz Code.
Whichever you prefer.
Yes. Allow me to explain.

Zz gets a hundred free messages a day.
Evidently, that is not enough.
Evidently.


At around eight o' clock, she begins the process.
(Play MI music in background)

A missed call is given from Zz's phone to MM's.
Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na. (Thats the nokia ring tone. Not Bond Music, if you're confused. Its not MI music either. The MI music is playing in the background.)

MM looks up from her work (which is of high importance, I assure you). She's heard the cue. Now its all up to her. With cat-like agility, she swiftly searches the room for her phone, which she has left somewhere to cry alone, as usual, at how neglected it is.

After a few minutes, in which her room is ransacked to the point of it looking like a tsunami diaster area, she finds her phone. It is in her bag.

A sigh of relief is heaved. There's still time.
The keypad is unlocked.
A message is quickly typed out. (Using dictionary of course, so time saving it is.)
A quick re read, and the message is sent off to Zz.

The Code is complete.


In case you were wondering what the hell that was all about,

Congratulations!

You now belong to the covetted group that forms The World's Most Blithering Idiots.
Please await in the post, your introductory letter, which describes the initiation process you are required to undergo. In the mean time, buy yourself some rope and a large jar of honey. This will come in very handy as you will later come to find ou...

...Oh... I'm sorry. I dont know whats gotten into me. I seem to be in a very bad mood today. You are not an idiot. I assure you. Its just me. Really it is.
So what if you dont understand plain English? Doesnt mean you're stupid or anything...

Oops there I go again. I must really stop being so condescending, shouldnt I?
I should go on with my slightly pointless little story.

Its perfectly alright that you didnt understand. I shall explain in slightly less complicated terms. Now pay attention, and perhaps you will be able to comprehend... I mean, get, what I'm saying.



SMS conversation:
Yesterday, 8.03pm
Zz has finished her day's free messages.
MM (very put on, very fake look of surprise) has not.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: Messages over I suppose?

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: I thought as much, I did.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: Why yes, thank you. I have had dinner. Scrumptious meal of rice, sambar and beans laced with coconut. And what about you?

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: Ooo sounds YUM! Ask your mum to send some to college some day.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: Dang it. If only I were non veggie.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: Okay, okay! I'll put my songs in a cd for you. You dont have to be all naggy about it.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: The CD doesnt have enough space for five hundred and thirty songs you silly goose. I'll put in as much as I can.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: AND the sleep over photos, yes. Grumble grumble. The stuff I do for you. Grumble.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na na.

MM: Alright. I've stopped grumbling. Are you happy now? Mutter mutter. CD's almost done.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta n

MM: Yawn. Yes, I'm sleeepy too. Well I'll catch ya tomorrow.

Zz: Ta na na na, Ta na na na, Ta na na na NA!

MM: Sigh. I wont forget the cd. Nag, nag, nag.

10.04 pm.
The code is complete.


Now besides all this being very fun for me, the reason I play along with the whole Zz code thing, is because I'm terribly jobless, not to mention psychologically imbalanced. And because, well, I like Zz, despite all the insane tricks she pulls. And also, because its mysterious. It is a code after all. Who doesnt want to be part of a mysterious code? I for one, do.

ECNR

If you are going to get your ECNR (Emigration Check Not Required) at the passport office, please take with you the following:

1. A pillow (or a movable bed if possible, so you can catch up on sleep while waiting in that abnormally long queue.)

2. 5 books you've been meaning to read for the past couple of years. You'll be able to finish them by the time you're out. That'll be an achievement, won't it?

3. A camera. So you can catch on film, the many embarassing things that various people will do throughout your stint on that god forsaken patch of city.

4. An umbrella. In case it rains while you're in the second half of the queue, which extends far outside the compound of the building, is unsheltered and is highly uncomfortable.

5. A fierce expression and demenour. This will help. You'll know how when you get there.

6. A bib. For when frustrated mothers thrust their two year old kids, (who, incidently, also require ECNRs for their travel) on you, whilst trying to feed them extremely messing looking food that they have brought in smelly little boxes.

7. A note pad. You'll want to write down all you see. Record the trauma and all that.

8. A cell phone. In case you are so utterly bored that you want to kill yourself, in which case you will need a friend (or a social worker) to talk you out of it.

9. A large large dose of patience. It won't be enough, but you'd still better take it along.

10. Your original 12th standard marks card. I had to go back for it.

Phew. Thank God that ordeal is over.

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