Friday, October 17, 2008

Oh look, it's one of those posts where she talks about the exams and how much they're killing her...

Run, run for cover... Quickly, before you get sucked into the long drawn out journey that is this post, a downward spiral into complete and utter...

too late.

Hello there. Im notsovery happy at the moment.

Why, you ask incredulously with raised eyebrow?
It's the exams, my friend. They're here again.

Except this time, they are a lot worse.

you ask incredulously with raised eyebrow?
Because this time, I really dont care anymore how well I do. It's like Shar and I were talking about, there is JUST no motivation.

Look first of all, it's all just too bloody boring.
There are just so many other things we do in our course and outside of it that give us more of a sense of fulfillment than getting marks in these crazy exams do. And having to read all this garbage so boring in comparison.

It's like the Arousal Theory of Motivation, you know? It's not challenging enough for you to want to start. At least, the practical things were more challenging than this is.

So studying during the day? Fuh-ged about it.
I try to find my books at 11pm and open them. I try to read them. But EVERYFRICKINTHING ELSE is just so much more interesting.

Staring into space daydreaming: More interesting
Writing entire blogposts in my head: More interesting
Listening to songs Im already sick of: More interesting
Staring at ceiling fan for 45 minutes: More interesting
Even The Ellen Degeneres Show *closes eyes in resignation*: More interesting!

It's come to this.

Now this isnt to say that it wasnt all boring before. It was. Except then, I actually cared a twiddle about doing well.
Before, marks meant a lot to me (I am Iyengari, how could they not?). Before, I was all like Yay I topped second semester, yay! came second in third semester! (or something... who keeps track of these things anyway? I do.)
Before, I'd get a little panicked the day before and start studying at around 11pm. Because I'd want to do well. That made me.

Now I dont particularly want to do well anymore. I have stopped caring. And that particular point my children, is when you know that you have lost all hope.

So now what's happening is this: I manage to kick myself to start (because I am a scooter) by around 11pm. Then all the daydreaming and doing anything else I possibly can other than study happens until 3am. Then I finish everything between 3 and 4 am.
It is just not possible for me to do it any other way.

My sleep cycle's all haywire, so thats a lot of fun.

On an unrelated note, a pesky friend of mine who's come over tonight managed to post on my blog, what was meant to go on one of her own private blogs, and I have been spending the past half an hour scrambling around deleting it. On the bright side, it got me to write this post which is long over due... my blog has been dead for ages... so yay!

Also, I must again mention that several things that have happened have gone undocumented, so upcoming posts will mostly be me reliving the past.
Betchya looking forward to that arent you?
Ta then!


La said...

:D "I try to find my books at 11pm and open them. I try to read them. But EVERYFRICKINTHING ELSE is just so much more interesting."

I so get! :D

I sympathise. I have to study also. Sigh and I do not want to.

I'm trying to keep myself awake. You know, I fall asleep at eight? And then wake up at three in the morning not knowing what to do?? It's 8.45 p.m now and I'm finding it very,very hard to keep my eyes open.

Rookie said...

@MM & La: High Fives! Join the club. Yes, you previously-toppers-newly-not-caring-about-studies types, there is a club for ex-toppers! I joined the club way back in 8th standard. Now, Ive been President for the past 3 years.
I don't care about the marks I score either. I don't stay up late either.
Going to sloup at 10pm when you have an exam the next day: MOST interesting.
Top that!

Lalitha said...

See I don't understand this.... you mean you guys used to STUDY like before a test? I thought cramming a years worth of knowledge between sunrise and 5 minutes to test time was the way everyone studied! You mean you wasted your precious youth STUDYING??? A whole day before the test! WOW!!!!! Kids nowadays sooo hard working yaaa.

Nil said...

No I don't think anyone actually studies a day before...But bad is when you waste your day thinking you should be studying,when there's all that fun ceiling to stare at! :(
MM nice post!But take it from someone who's still Stuck in caring-about-your-marks-is cool-land your better off.
While we are on that,is this club like exclusive or something?I wanna JOIN!! :( :(

Rookie said...

@nil: Yup! Its exclusive alright! You have to please the President to get in. Appeal to his good side. Or just be Perfect (get it, Sparky?)

@Lalitha: Hark! If half the stuff La spouts about you is true, you spent most of your youth (notice the past tense) pouring into books. Now you spend your time peering into peoples heads.

Lalitha said...

Well I did pour into books during my youth. For eg I read Anne Frank during Hindi class and my mum ended up having to come to school to finish writing my class notes for me because I was too busy reading Jonathan seagull at that time. And during math class I mostly read Shakespeare and I think an English translation of the Odyssey. I never actually read what they were teaching in class because it was so boring.
Yours aged-ly,

MM said...

@Lalitha: You're not aged. You're in the prime of your youth!

@V: If you're president... what're me and la? We want cool designations!

@nil: Yay you're here! :)

Nil said...

:D Yup I'm here! It be fun. Your writing is fun! For duh!:D

@V: Okay, I want into this club! So will pretty pleas work???With a sad smiley face- :(