Friday, December 22, 2006

A Zz and me bit: Mythological Characters

Was every little girl obsessed with unicorns?

So its a Thursday.
Not a very nice day, to be sitting in front of the TV, especially after a very entertaining Wednesday... sigh! :-) Ed, more Ed and Grey's Anatomy.
But what can you do?

No worries, Zz is here.

The phone screen lights up.(Always pleased, it is, to see her)

This time, the message is:
What was your favourite mythological creature as a kid?

I ponder over this deeply (as I have nothing even remotely better to do), and am transported back.

When I was a kid, I had this book-cum-tape cassette series that my dad bought me at the Sunday market.
Sigh. What joy those books have brought.
You would have to play the tape, and follow what the narrators were saying in the book, and look at the pictures and enjoy. :-) For a 5 year old me, this was a LOT of fun, and I spent many a joyful hour over them.
There was one particular book... well they were more like magazines actually, with stories in them... Book number 14, if I remember right, all light blue and nice looking... and there was one particular story in it about a Minatour.
You know, those monsters, with the head of a bull and the body of a man.
The story was about one brave prince of Athens or something. He'd to save his people from some evil tyrant of some sort. The tyrant owned a minatour, and he required 7 men and 7 women to be fed to it each month. The people he used were the prince's and so the prince decided to stop it all. (not very eloquently described, I know, but bear with me).
The tyrant agreed to stop this cruel sacrifice if the prince could go into the minatours maze, and come out alive. Incidently, the prince is also in love with the tyrant's daughter, but this is inconsequential. Oh, wait, it isn't. She helps him by telling him how to get through the maze I think.
Anyway, the prince gets through the maze and reaches the minatour.
This was the part that really got to me.
The music, the suspense, the sound of the battle, the roar of the minatour, the one picture in that book...
all had a very lasting impression on my imagination, and etched itself very strongly in my memory.
So brilliantly done was that tape. Its an art in itself. The narration. The music. The sound effects. The illustrations. All brought together perfectly. A job well done.
I wonder why such things arent marketted a whole lot.
Actually, no I dont. Stupid

The phone lights up again.
Zz: What are you? Dead?

And thats when I remembered the pony. Aah, the pony. I'm laughing in fond rememberance now...
There was this cartoon series on TV called My Little Pony. (Yes, I know you're laughing too)
Each pony had a different symbol on its back, and thus had different super powers.
I had my HEART set on one of this pony figurines that they were selling. The white one. I didnt want any other colour. Not orange, not purple, not blue. I wanted the white one. Because the white one, was a UNICORN.
Yes. It had a lovely silver horn in the middle of its pretty white forehead. After I'd drooled and begged and pleaded, (which I didnt do very often), my parents sighed and gave in.
The pony was in my possession. Oh what fun I had with it. Combing its purple mane and tail and all that. (laughs again)

So my favourite mythological creature was definitely a unicorn. Most definitely.

I type that in to Zz, and so sooner as it been sent, I get a message from her.

Zz: I'm tired of waiting. I bet you're thinking. You are, arent you? Freak. Mine was a unicorn.



If you are going to get your ECNR (Emigration Check Not Required) at the passport office, please take with you the following:

1. A pillow (or a movable bed if possible, so you can catch up on sleep while waiting in that abnormally long queue.)

2. 5 books you've been meaning to read for the past couple of years. You'll be able to finish them by the time you're out. That'll be an achievement, won't it?

3. A camera. So you can catch on film, the many embarassing things that various people will do throughout your stint on that god forsaken patch of city.

4. An umbrella. In case it rains while you're in the second half of the queue, which extends far outside the compound of the building, is unsheltered and is highly uncomfortable.

5. A fierce expression and demenour. This will help. You'll know how when you get there.

6. A bib. For when frustrated mothers thrust their two year old kids, (who, incidently, also require ECNRs for their travel) on you, whilst trying to feed them extremely messing looking food that they have brought in smelly little boxes.

7. A note pad. You'll want to write down all you see. Record the trauma and all that.

8. A cell phone. In case you are so utterly bored that you want to kill yourself, in which case you will need a friend (or a social worker) to talk you out of it.

9. A large large dose of patience. It won't be enough, but you'd still better take it along.

10. Your original 12th standard marks card. I had to go back for it.

Phew. Thank God that ordeal is over.


A Zz and me bit: Heaven

Friday Night. Tough week.
I'm in one of my stare-at-the-computer-screen-dreaming moods. I'm wondering what my next move should be.
Should I get up? (Nah, too much effort.)
Check my mail, since I'm sitting here anyway? (Nah... did that, like, 5 minutes ago.)
Start on all my pending projects? (Am I crazy? I never do that.)
Go eat dinner? (nah, there's all those stairs o climb down...)
Stop thinking and just sit here? (Yeah. That seems like a good idea.)

So I settle myself down, to do just that, when the phone screen lights up.

Ordinarily, this would please me greatly, but under such circumstances as these, when I had such an important evening planned, just as I'm about to embark on a journey and all that crap, I had to sigh at this unwelcome distraction.

I break my eye contact with the screen, (its not too happy with the change in arrangements, I can tell you that), and with a heavy sigh, I lift up the phone.

Its a message from Zz. I should have known.

It reads simply, thus:
Do you believe in heaven

I blink.
Re focus my eyes and blink again.
Yup, thats what it says. Strange message to be sending on a Friday night. Hell, ever.

Just for kicks, I decide to reply. I reply to all of Zz's messages.

Me: Yes. I'll bet my hat there's something better after this.

Zz: What hat?

Me: Never mind. Do you?

Zz: What?

Me: believe in heaven?

Zz: Oh that. Yup. We don't go when we die... but one day we will.

Me: So what happens in between?

Zz: We sleep. Its in the Bible, if anyone cares to read carefully enough.

Me: How long for?

Zz: Thats not given. We have to wait and see. But if you believe, you know you're going to heaven one day.

Me: And what's heaven like apparently?

Zz: Everybody's heaven is different. I read this book called "My Dream of Heaven". This lady actually dreamed she went to heaven and there were houses constructed for her, and one nearby for her family. Everything was perfect. The way she wanted it.

Me: Any idea what your heaven would be like?

Zz: My heaven will have animals and vegetarians and sunsets all day
and milk and honey and worship and stars
and it'll be just perfect
no dirt, no hurt or tears.
or maybe some tears
and babies and no growing up
no studies
books, maybe
no computers though
no electricity
no shops no money
clothes maybe, white gowns that fit perfectly
and ya, angels
snow and photographs
and flowers
Oh this is the best message ive written ever
gotta save it.
you tell me about your better place.

Me: wow. That was LONG.
Sounds like a great place.
You know what I always pictured that'd happen after you die?
A whole replay...going back and watching your life,
watching stuff you missed because you couldnt be in two places at the same time,
seeing what you could have done better
enjoying the great times you had again
watching yourself grow into who you'd finally become
watching the world change.
I suppose I'd like my heaven to be a happy place where there's no sadness and pain and anger, only acceptance
where its always sunny, and there's blue skies and white clouds that you can look at for however long you want without people thinking you're off your rocker,
and where you have this tv in your room which is YOUR LIFE, and you can view it at your pleasure or not at all (that would be the whole replay part).
Oh and there'd be high grass covered hills and flying and ice cream and books.

Zz: Haha. Well that was... enlightening.

Me: I'll say.

Zz: What were you doing?

Me: Before this?

Zz: Yes.

Me: Just staring.

Zz: Damn, did I disturb you?

Me: How you read my mind.

Zz: Its okay. This was productive wasn't it?

Me: Huh? It would be I guess, if we did a research paper on it.

Zz: That, my child, is a brilliant idea. I bag it.

Me: No way you freak! Its mine!

The arguement continued through sms, college and and lunching. I let her take it in the end. Despite Snum's vehement protests, the sweet thing.

Research Paper

We've got to do a research paper, they say. Out of the blue. A research paper.
It'll count for 50 marks and should be 15 pages long.

Excuse me sir?

Yes madhuvanthi?

I have a question.

(Sigh) go on.

Well, I was just wondering...


Well, What should it be on?

Why, paper, of course.
Moving on, today, we are going to be learning...

Um, sir?

Yes madhuvanthi.

(pauses for a moment to wonder why the rest of the class isnt asking questions, and the realises they're just a tad smarter than she is)
What should be the topic of our research paper?


Anything? (Wha ha?)

Yes, anything.
Now, class, open your books to...

Sir? Can I have an example, sir?

(Grits teeth)
(long pause)
Shoe polish.
(longer pause)
(through gritted teeth)

And sir, what...
(quiets down on noticing the glare her teacher is sending her)
wh..wh..what page did you say sir?

And thats about all the instructions we got.

Well, no not really. In fact this entire post is fictional. Except for the part about the research paper. That we have to do.

What will mine be on?
We can only wait. Wait and see.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Nose cardys and Monsters

Its morning. 8:30am.

Its cold. So cold, in fact, that my hands and nose have ceased to feel like they actually belong to the rest of my body.
I begin to wish I had worn socks.
I begin to wonder why no one has ever fashioned a nose sweater. I'm sure it could be done, without obstructing your breathing, and without making you look like a complete lunatic.
That way your nose could be kept toasty warm, even in biting cold whether.
Hell, there could even be fashion nose cardys!
High tech ones, with little electric blankets built in!
See-through ones (Oooo!),
Polka dotted ones (Look like you have the measles without acquiring a single pock mark!) ,
Ones with mood indicator messages ("Grrr", "Sigh", "Hey! How U doin?"),
Ones with in built tissue dispensers, for when you have a cold,
Ones with mini cameras attached (for Tehelka wannabes),
Ones that match your glasses and your lip gloss,
Ones that warn you when a sneeze is coming,
Even festive nose cardys to be worn on special occassions!
Hell, I'd buy them.
The possibilities, they are endless.

Also, I'm sleepy. This is owing to the fact that I was up till 3am last night doing an assignment so boring that I could not, but shamelessly postpone doing it till the last second. I begged various people to do it for me. That took till about 11.30pm. Everyone refused. Even my mom. She reckons I'm old enough to get out of my scrapes on my own now. (Darn it!)
After that, of course, I had to mutter and grumble about everything, get myself into a really foul mood, and rant extensively and continuously in my head, about what the world was coming to and what happened to selfless acts of kindness among friends and what the hell was the point of this stupid thing anyway.
Also, it was inevitable that I get distracted for a bit and sit and gaze blankly at the computer screen in a kind of stupour. (This is part of my daily routine, it just had to happen.)
All that took until about 2.15.
It took until 3am to get the sloppy, bad tempered bit of work finished.
And that is when I crashed onto my bed and blacked out.

So I'm cold and I'm sleepy, right? And I'm in college, and its one and a half hours before class starts. So I sleepwalk my way through the cold breeze and the crowds of exuberant students (how can they be? Its morning for God's sake!), occasionally bumping into the odd teacher, and giving a yawned apology, before I finally find myself in the Food Court.

Aah, blessed place. I have grown used to it's new location, although I'm still bitter about how they tore it away from the old place, in order to build there, a 14 storeyed (so my friends believe) law college. Sheesh.
Who wants a law college? Christ.

I sit there, in a kind of stupour, trying to curl myself up into a position thats suitable for slumber, when I catch a glimpse of Zz through the shrubbery.

Zz, I am constantly thinking, needs to be referred to in the plural. Not because of her size or anything, she's as thin as a noodle; but because of her companian. A companian who is always with her. Her love, her soulmate, always always by her side. A selfless, faithful and constant comrade that she is never seen without.
Her phone.

"Zz are coming late to class."
"Zz have brought sandwiches today, lets ambush them in the lunch break."
"Zz're angry cause we stole her lunch, lets hide in the girls' room."
I say in my head drowsily before she looms up on me.

"You look stoned today."
And good morning to you too, Zz.

She sits there for a bit, phone in hand, earphones in place and radio blaring from them, tapping her feet and nodding her head. I fall into a nice, comfy kind of snooze, when suddenly, there's a deafening exclamation.

"Oh oh oh! Listen to this one!"
I look up.
The phone... does nothing.
She grins widely. My eyes rather lethargically light up.
The phone... does nothing.
She hands me an earphone. I lift it to my ear.
The phone... you guessed.

And that is when, the three of us combined become.....

The weirdly-deformed Attached-by-the-Ear-
(through-Discoloured-but-still-White-Looking-Wires) Double Loud-mouthed Monster

Da da da

The Attached-by-the-Ear Double Loud-mouthed Monster, or AbE DoLoMo
as it is commonly referred to, can be seen throughout the college, from corridors to classrooms to just strolling about lazily accross the campus. Usually coming out during lunch breaks and free hours, the Food Court is its favourite haunt.
This particular monster will usually be speaking very loudly, due to the fact that 2 of its 4 ears are occupied by ear phones which emerge from the selfless and faithful phone, and it is hence unable to determine exactly the volume of it's speech.
Occassionally, it will sing, causing its friends to throw it disgusted looks, and sometimes disown it.
It is particularly difficult to attract the attention of the AbE DoLoMo.
This characteristic has both advantages and disadvantages. For one thing, one need not be too afraid of it attacking them off chance. However, it does leave one particularly tired and frustrated Snum sulking around often. (Hee hee, sorry munch! :-))

The AbE DoLoMo has on several occassions been critisised for its weird appearance. Unfortunately for people around, the AbE DoLoMo just doesnt care.

In one memrable incident with a security guard, the DoLoMo received this fine remark:
"Kya ji?" (in frustrated and hopeless sounding tones)
"Yeh style hai kya?
Do do admi ek ear phones se raydyo sunthe hai baba...
kya yaar..."

The monster then laughingly dismantled itself and hurried off to class, while a certain Snum heaved a sigh of relief and slipped the guard a note while she thought we weren't watching... Sneaky little Snum! :-P


Wednesday, December 6, 2006


Have you ever owned a pair of them?
They go "clip clop" really loudly and at the slightest provocation. I tell you sometimes its just plain annoying. For you, and all the people within a 5 mile radius.

Today, I wore my clippety clop shoes. I found them in the depths of the shoe cupboard and wondered why I hadnt been wearing them in such a long time. I vaguely remembered an embarassing situation from PUC, but couldn't quite put my finger on it owing to the fact that I happened to glance down at my watch just then and realise that if I didnt leave RIGHT THEN, I'd be late for class and my dear darling teacher wouldn't give me attandance.
The point is, (and I am digressing terribly, I know) that the red clip-clops were strapped on and made their way into the outside world at last.

On rushing onto the street after locking the door and closing the gate, I knew this had been a big mistake.
Clipetty clop! said my shoes in response.

The street dogs were startled out of their morning slumber. The cows raised their heads from their lazy cudd-ing. Shop keeper's peered out to see what all the commotion was about.
Clippety clop! said my shoes cheerfully to each of them.
I hopped into an auto and they became sullenly silent.

I was late after all. But very slightly.
However, that gormless, toothless, witless, canniving, trecherous, resentful, ... ahem...
Well, I didn't get my attendance despite the torture of sitting through that entire class. Although I did create an uproar as I ran through the media department. That was fun.
Clippetty clop! my shoes had managed to scream in passing.

As the day progressed, I grew very sleepy. For the first time, I think, I actually slept in class.
I mean REALLY slept.
Not the putting your head down on your desk kind of sleep.

Not the gazing into space looking really dim kind of sleep.

Not the I'm so bored I want to kill myself but don't have the means to and hence will merely close my eyes and meditate kind of sleep.

But the actual
sleep kind of sleep.

We were in the media lab. The lights were dimmed. The chair was soft and comfy and the desk a perfect arm rest. There was the sound of drum beats from outside. There was the thought of those poor PUC kids exhausting themselves in the afternoon sun doing their march past-ing, and the thought of me here in the cool and soporific media lab. There was the fact that I still havent caught up on all the sleep I've been missing this past week (I must set aside an entire day next week for that purpose, hang on while I flip out my blackberry...). There was no clippety clop to disturb me (they were sulking again) and all these circumstances were just too much to resist against.

I was gone 40 minutes. I dreamt. The last thing I remember was me watching the grey background-ed slide show and dreaming of something completely different from it. There were cartoon figures, and garlands I think. I sat like that, my head resting on my hand resting on the desk attached to my comfy chair, sleeping, for 40 minutes. I'm surprised (and thankful) that I didn't fall off my chair or anything. And that I didn't drool all over my arm. And that my sweet (really, I'm not being sarcastic this time) teacher didn't notice.

I woke up just as she was giving us an assignment. At first, I didn't know where the hell I was. It dark and weird and just plain frightning. I turned around and saw Y and was frightened still more.

The indignant clip clop! of my shoes brought me to my senses suddenly and everything came rushing back to me. I collected myself aswell as I could and paired up with TheTenZen to do the assignment. I walked out dazed.

The Clear and Coherrant Clippety Clop had become a Slurry and Shoddy Sloppety. . . Slop which sadly, annoyed my friends even more greatly than the earler cry had. However, there was nothing (I was bothered) to do about it.

The shoes complained a great deal after that. I gave them a good talking to and stowed them away at the back of the cupboard. I told them to think about what they had done.
It will be quite a while before they see the light of day again.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Random Randing

Spinach cannaloni has met the tastebuds. They got along swimmingly, and have planned to meet again soon.

Hard Times was not too hard to get through. I like his style of writing.

Something Zz was saying over chocolate cake today got me thinking. What is the exact definition of a nerd? I shall ponder over that and get back to you.


Lots of birthdays... mmm gift ideas. Joys of life :-)


While travelling the flyover everyday on the way back from college, I get this beautiful expanse of sky to view, and each day, it gives me the goosebumps. Its like a great wondrous painting, that changes everyday. Thrilling.

You know what my DL is like? A bunch of old newspapers clinging together for dear life with a single staple pin.
Flimsy it is, and without my blood group on it.
Sigh, the way of the world.

I'm gonna grow my hair long. I've decided.

The feeling of Christmas. makes me dizzy :-) Childhood memories mmmm

Bestest has just messaged and said she will cut her hair. Highly coincidental :-)

Orange-yellow reminds me of- misery guts- austaralia- sun and sand- mangos.
I bet that won't make sense to anyone but me.

Sllllllllleeeeeeeeeepy. 'Night!