Wednesday, January 28, 2009

WHAT the Hell

No seriously. What. Who does this bloody Arindam Chaudhuri THINK he is?
He wrote this article on Slumdog Millionaire. Click link and open in new tab.

Don't see "Slumdog Millionaire". It sucks!
By Arindam Chaudhuri


I saw it on Monday, at the bottom of a full page ad for IIPM. Very relevant no, to IIPM, this article? And I was too appalled to read it. It also appeared as the editorial in one of our newspapers the following day I think.

This is someone that people respect and admire. He's won awards. He's supposed to be a role model, a celebrity. Who knew he was such a lunatic? WHAT the hell is wrong with him?

First of all, (and it may seem trivial, but it is not to me) his grammar is COMPLETELY off in places. "Don't see" I believe.

Secondly, WHY go to such lengths?
Okay, you didnt like the movie. Fine. Why write a freaking editorial about it?
Do we not have more pressing things to give importance to?
And why be so extremist? And why give it such a childish and ridiculous headline?
I am not the only one thinking he must have some sort of ulterior motive here.
Why make it occupy a quarter of full page ad for IIPM for chrissake. Why put it everywhere? Why make it THAT public? Perhaps he has something to gain from the failure of this movie at the box office. Notice he says at the end:
Don’t even waste your time watching this film in the theatres.
Why mention in theatres unless he had box office results in mind?

Notice how the article stresses more on how one should NOT GO SEE the movie. Why not say, Go watch it, and see what rubbish it is? Go watch it, and see how we're being portrayed? Why say Dont go see it so often in the article, and give it that ridiculous, irrational Headline? It seems as though this man has all the wrong interests at heart.

Thirdly, he is really extremist in his views. You can't be so illogical ya! Especially when you are someone that important. Ack, Im too angry to write. Here are some ridiculous things he's said. Actually the whole article is ridiculous. But here:
While “Salaam Bombay” had realism, “Slumdog…” is just every scrap of dirt picked up from every corner and piled up together to try and hit back at the growing might of India.
Really now. Picked up and made to hit back at the growing might of India.
Im sure that's what they had in mind while making the film. Let us try and hit back at the growing might of India.
Talk about irrational. This idiot (and Im sorry Im being abusive, but Im angry) has NO IDEA about films Im telling you. NO IDEA. What about some of the shoddy unrealistic films that he's produced?
The real slumdogs who’ve hit the jackpot after wallowing in acres of human waste are the makers of this film who are now raking in millions while those court jesters who’ve critiqued the film and showered tributes and awards need to ask themselves why, scores of years after our independence, they still feel the need to suck up to the gora sahibs.
WHAT? Who is sucking up to the gora sahibs? I understand you have great fascination for the word "suck" Mr Chaudhury, but please!
It illogically shows every negative thing about India happening in the protagonist’s life... slums, open-air lavatories, riots, underworld, prostitution, brothels, child labour, begging, blinding and maiming of kids to make them into ‘better beggars’, petty peddlers, traffic jams, irresponsible call centre executives…
YOU are illogical. The movie is based on a BOOK. The book was written by an INDIAN. Who Im sure had no intention of hitting back at the growing might of India.

I agree that perhaps the movie might give people abroad a bad idea about India. And I wish that during Interviews and the publicity that they had stressed that this was just one aspect of India. But it's a movie, and a darn good one at that, and anyone doing business with us would know our country is a lot more than the slums. I don't see how much harm it could cause.

It is depressing to read some of the comments by the empty headed who look to the likes of him for their opinions. "Yes sir you are complete totally 100% completely true and right please admit me in your IIPM I have scored 50% marks." *barf*

I am however, slightly mollified by the number of comments that disagree with him on his blog. And I shall paste a few here.

(I would, but it is wrecking havoc on my blog saying html error and changing the font colours to flourescent blue and pink, and I cant do that to my blog. Flourescent blue. No.
I will try later, to paste these heart lifting comments. Know that they are there.)

And I say:
Dude you are completely off your rocker. Please go get head checked asap.

I would like to be have been more coherent here but I am too LIVID.

Even that Mangalore thing is driving me crazy. Srirama Sene I believe. Are there so many nutcases in the world? Really? It's depressing.

Tomorrow advertising exam. I should probably go study.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire, Auto Raja Post and Psych Fest

Little obsession is happening with Slumdog Millionaire. Ever since I watched it. (I most certainly didnt watch it at Bestest's two weeks ago because GreatSenseofDirection Dude had it on his removable hard drive. That would be illegal.)

I reallyreallyreallyreally loved the movie. And Dev Patel. *Sigh* It's all in the eyebrows.
Dev? Are you listening? I know you're 17 and all. But still. Call me.

There were some trivial things that irked me: Like how Anil Kapoor pronounces millionaire. "Who wants to be... a millin-air!!!!" I dunno, that was just JARRing. Yuck. It's mil IAN air.

Also, the slum dwellers English accents when they grew older. Huh? They sounded more like middle upper educated class Indian English accents. Although not accurate, I actually kinda liked it. I guess I related to the characters more because of it.

NOTHING ELSE! The music is JUST awesome. JUST. Paper Planes is my current favourite. And those little kids! Amazing jobs they've done. Perfect, in fact.

Twice this week I have watched half an hour debates on Times Now(blah) on whether "We as a nation are still touchy about poverty." And "Does Slumdog Millionnaire portray us badly to the rest of the world." Which is silly actually because nobody is supposed to have watched it yet. And also, do we HAVE nothing else to talk about?

Of course we're touchy about poverty. But look, it's a movie. You cant be too much PR types in your movie. What image will this person get about this and how will that affect everything else. If you did that, you'd never be able to make something you truly felt about. Movies are art, your voice. You cant bend them around to suit PR strategies for the country for chrissake. Too much talk for no reason.
I only wish Frieda Pinto (who's gorgeous by the way) had been a little smarter in the way she answered some of those question they were asking her. She kept ON saying in all her interviews that THIS was the real Mumbai. THIS was a true depiction of Mumbai. Hello. It was one PART of Mumbai, there are so many aspects of the city that werent portrayed. I mean there is culture, and good schools and goodness as well, you know? She could have easily said "Yes, this IS what Mumbai is like. This is an accuarate portrayal of what part of Mumbai is like."

Look at them. Already at the Golden Globes. Oscars. Even I want to do great things with my life. *pouts*
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Yay 1000 bucks this time InBloom Creative writing first place. Yay! You should have seen my face while signing for cheque. Teacher was highly amused. I thought they'll give 500 or something. These Christ people no. This is the only time of the year that I like them so much. Jay and I have made a plan that if we dont get high paying jobs, we'll just hit all the college fests and submit prize winning entries for everything. Full rich.
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Doesnt it annoy you when these auto drivers (I see you sit up in your seat and start nodding) almost bash into someone ok, and then start driving almost immediately, but while staring at the person they've almost hit, threateningly?
I mean stop the gaadi and then stare no? Stare all you want. Throw daggers with your eyes. Remain there, without saying anything, glaring evilly for as long as you want. But dont keep the gaadi moving, and stare while continuing to drive into other people and things. Smart too much. Right into that oncoming bus.
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Pah. It's too tough being a celeb and all. What a sad thing to happen to anyone.
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Psych fest no. Sigh what memories. There's a pattern we FEPs follow for the 12 Minutes to fame event, you know.

I FEP- You're new you dont know what the hell this psych fest is all about. You dont do anything and hurriedly put on a 12 minutes to fame piece of nothingness.
II FEP- fueled by last year's embarrassment, you decide to put on a really good show. And your previously disintegrated class comes together and you feel great euphoria and its just awesomeness.
III FEP- You have a lot on your mind. There's lots of other stuff going on. Half your class doesnt turn up because this is all old shit ya. You're lazy. You make something up on the morning of the show and almost get third place but miss by one mark.

How history repeats itself. Sigh.
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Saturday, January 17, 2009

Of Cream & Fudge Psychopaths

Ah, these psychopaths. I met one just the other day.

No, really.

So we're at The Cream & Fudge Factory, right, me and Osh.
I know, I know. Why go there when you can make 10 rupee Cream and Fudge Factory specials at home, right? Right. But I'd just had a small (massive) craving for donuts that morning in PR class and The Donut Baker is just above it and we thought eh, what the heck.

So we're sitting there on those bar stools (that place ish very shpecial to me) eating our donuts with our fingers from a tissue on a tray (They have no plates. They have no spoons. They have no forks, no knives, the goons.) And we've ordered a scoop of icecream.

Deep in pleasant conversation, discussing things that your average pair of 20 year girl buddies do. When suddenly we are startled out of our politically charged discussion, by an old man with a walker. One of these.-->

And he's robust, well built, well dressed and speaks perfect English. And he reaches where we're sitting and he says assertively in rough tones "How much was that?"

I stare incredulously wondering if he has a point. All I get is another "How much did you pay for that?"

I say, "Why do you want to know?", afraid that there will be a lecture on "You can buy the same thing from outside for 5 rupees! In my time you could buy Australia with the amount you have paid for that icecream." Seriously, the tone was just that. Like a reprimanding teacher. Who comes up to your table and asks to see your bill, I mean come on. I swear, if he wasnt so elderly I'd have yelled at him to bugger off and mind his own business. But Respect your elders, we have been taught. Even if they are crossing the line.

And he's like "How much?" And I stop myself from snapping and I tell him. And he says all commandingly, "Tell them to bring me one of those."

I think. Ok. Poor dude's in a walker. He probably cant wrap his mind around the numerous flavours and decide which one to have. He's decided he's liked the look of the one Im having. And he's probably one of those retired army officers who are used to people doing as they order them to. And he's kinda my grandad's age. And he's come here in a walker alone. Why isnt anyone with him? Poor thing. The least I can do is tell the waiter what to bring for him. So Im like, "Erm excuse me, he's asking for the same thing that I am having."

Waiter brings it and he scarfs the whole thing down and me and Osh continue yabbering.

Then he starts talking to these small kids sitting next to us on the barstools. (Sidenote: Kids today are so much more grown up than we were at their age, damnit. They are.) They are eating their ice cream from colourful rainbow sprinkle cones.

"You, girl. What are you eating?" *rough assertively*
"Icecream"
"What is that?"
"Icecream cone"
"Can you get me one of those? Go and get me one of those."
"Only cone?"
"Yes."

Girl stares blankly at him and then goes to her mamma. Mamma gets cone for old man. Old man says "There's nothing in it?"
Mamma says "You wanted ice cream also?"
"Yes tell them to give me whatever she's having." *points at girl*

Mamma confusedly goes to get icecream. Meanwhile old man says "Is that your mother? She is a very fine lady. Very good. You know? And where do you stay?"

Little Girl is smart, but not that smart. Mamma hurries over to hush her up. "Is that your daughter? She is a very fine girl. Very good." Old man scarfs down this icecream also. I wonder how. They are BIG portions and it was difficult for us to finish the one we'd ordered between the two of us. And the girls and mamma all leave.

And Osh and I are done yabbering and there's a Reliance Footwear Store nearby that we've been wanting to check out. So we jump lithely off our stools, hand the waiter dude the bill book and with a quick smile, start to walk out the door.

"Medam medam medam!!"
We walk back in again.
"Yes?"
"Medam, that man. He's not going to pay."
"Say wha?"
"Yes. He does this often. He comes in and makes other people buy for him."
"Other people as in, me?"
"Yes medam."
"But I didnt know that! And if you knew that why didnt you warn me?"
"You ordered for him no medam."
"Look I didnt know he was charging it to me... I just thought he needed help ordering."
"He does like this medam." *shakes head*
"If you knew he does like this, you should probably not have let him in this time, right?" *in severe tones* Like HELL I was going to pay double for those already overpriced icecreams.
"Yes medam. Ok medam. Its ok medam. Thank you."

And Osh and I walked out feeling quite shaken at the gall of this old man.

It wasnt like he didnt have money, he was very well spoken and very well dressed.
Why would he want two? At that age? Was he tying to kill himself? Was he a diabetic? Was this some sort of OC suicide he was trying to have here?
It must have been for the thrill of it. And he had no guilt whatsoever. Not in the least bit embarrassed, even as he heard the conversation we were having with the waiters. Classic psychopath. No conscience. No shame. No guilt. No sense of morality. Trying to be all good natured and charming with that little girl and her mum.
*shudders* The thought of someone being able to do anything they want to because there's nothing in their head that's stopping them is a scary thought.

The incident doesn't sound so tremour worthy, but really it left Osh and me quite shaken. That there were people like this- charming, well spoken intelligent people like this- who didnt mind doing anything at all, simply because they had no conscience. You should have been there, really it was disturbing, watching him lick away at the spoons, straight backed, well dressed, watching us brazenly as we discussed him from over at the cash counter.

4% of the population are psychopaths it sims. He was one, I'm sure. There's no other explanation.

Osh and me think the walker was just a ruse. Perhaps he bashes peoples heads in with it in dark alleyways at night. You never know.

23.01.09
Just to be clear, I am not trying to abuse an old defenseless man for my own perverse enjoyment here.
It does not look as though he suffers from

Severe Alzheimer's (Complete deterioration of the personality and loss of control over bodily functions, requires total dependence on others for even the most basic activities of daily living.)
OR

Schizhophrenia (Symptoms of disorganised schizhophrenia: Impaired communication skills, Incomprehensible or illogical speech, Emotional indifference, Inappropriate reactions e.g. laughing at a funeral, Infantile behavior: baby talk, giggling,Peculiar facial expressions and mannerisms)

It DOES sound as though he is a psychopath. ( Glibness / superficial charm, Cunning / manipulative, Lack of remorse or guilt, Failure to accept responsibility for own actions, Parasitic lifestyle, Impulsivity, Irresponsibility)

Thas all.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Hampi

The first memory that comes to mind is completely unrelated to the trip, it's third semester, we're sitting in class and we're deciding whether to go somewhere these hols or not, and suddenly I proclaim, "Hampi Jay, Hampi!" And there is a stunned silence, and then bursts of laughter, and I wished the floor would swallow me up.

Now of course, there are several other memories associated with the word. :) And I will list them all in a crude, ungainly fashion, because the best I can do at this point is copy down stuff I scribbled in my notebook at the time.
The best thing about the December hols was that Shru came down to visit and we decided on this last minute trip to Hampi which was fantastically blissful and now everytime I look at the pictures my heart flips and I want to go back again.

Bloody auto drivers.
Belts, scarves, bangles, dresses, colours, joy.
Osh walking into a bull.
Drunk shopkeeper with earrings. I cant believe we listened to him that long.
Isereli guy who tripped. Remember? Bahahahaha I still cant stop laughing at that. We're ridiculous, we are.
MM's monument
Bollywood Banana Groves.
Thw walking. And walking. And walking. And getting there.
The drunken sleepiness.
Furriners on cycles.
Content feeling in tummy auto rides.
Sleeping in. :D All of us.
Lady who asked for chocolate. Squirrels at the same place.
The Guide with Broken English.
Talking for hours and catching up on I want to say gossip, but I wont. :)
Droves of school children asking for our water bottles.
Dress shop man, hint, other lady two hours.
Funny scooter guys lake scream. (I really dont remember what that was all about.)

Awesome vacay. Here's to more. :) And here are some photos.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Christmas hols

I've learnt to be more content these Christmas hols. The restlessness, the wanderlust, the nothing ever being enough has gone. Out the door. With my misery. It really has. Jay was quoting for me the other day:

jacob: "we live life in the 'theres'. We are disappointed because once we reach the 'there' we just make another 'there' for ourselves and slog towards that. Savour life, look for the 'here'. Once you learn to appreciate and live the 'here', the 'there' becomes easier and more savorable"
And that's really how I was living a lot of this year. I mean, in the 'there'. But these hols had virtually NO plans, I was just going to relax and laze and do nothing and live in the moment and not worry about filling every second of it (which is a really big step for me, I usually have to be working and occupied and busy ALL the time or I feel worthless or like I'm wasting my youth or something :/) and somehow everything got filled anyway, even though I wasn't worrying my head about making it so. And it was relaxed filled, not jampacked filled, do I make sense? And I enjoyed everything so much better because I wasnt thinking so much about the whole thing.
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We went to Hampi for one thing, on last minute plans. Tbaby gave hath (ooo look, the MMGirl, she speaks Hindi!) so it was me Osh and Overseas Friend (I must find her another name) who went. And it was goshdarn nice I tell you. You know that happy content feeling in the pit of your stomach? It was that, throughout. I think I shall dedicate another post to that, sometime soon. (Yes, soon. :P)
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Then there was the spending of time with the niece and nephews. Have I mentioned how much I love them? It overflows this love, I just want to squeeze them all hard when they're around (I refrain from it of course.) Actually there is just a whole lotta affection thing happening this month, the overflowing, and Ive been taking it all out on Osh, Shar and Jay. Jay, he doesnt mind so much. But the other two have complained. Funny, I got affection expressed and wanted as low in FIRO B.
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Then there was the eating out. Shu, Im such a foodie. Then there was the Nigella recipes and trying them out. (I googled the web yesterday for yoga exercises for my tummy, not to worry) Casa del sol- not so good. Toscana- nice desserts!. Rajdhani- Shru, you shouldnt have paid! >:| McD- Well. Raghus- Dude this is the best place ever. Timeless.
For better reviews, see this blog, Gastronomical G-Spot , which I found extremely useful.

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Then there was the outright crazy new year. Let's just say that flaming santro cars that you can see from 300 metres away, shattered windshields, 100 rupee food coupons, and 4000 people you dont know is NOT my idea of the best way to usher in the new year. Followed by and following 3 hour drives. :| Oshmunch, my only solace. Muah! :)
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I also frequented BMS college of engineering. (Well, not frequented. :)) And toured Bestest's temple of learning, with Cow (I feel bad calling him that, I do because Bestest does. And it is a term of affection, and so appropriate), V, Rash and Puppy. And took weird story photos. And laughed and got embarrassed in front of amoebae, I'd forgotten how Bestest does that. ____________________________________________________________________

Then the Couch with GS, the giggling, the opening of hearts, the walking up and down MG road buying ghastly earrings because "They're just 25 rupees!". More giggling. Actually watching a Hindi movie with her. HER and ME! Can you believe it? Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. Ack. Well, it wasnt too bad. She's pretty, and great for a beginner. And he's well, him. The sumo wrestling scene made me want to jump out of my seat and run out of the audi. And the drama scenes on the night where the lights spells 'I love you' was toooo much, I had to hold my head and rock back and forth in my seat to escape from the pain of it all. But otherwise quite swallowable. Quite. Then we went and sat in Garuda mall Barrista, had a look at the menus and ran out, giggling like we'd do in PUC. Hahaha, I cant tell you how much I enjoyed that. All this being 20 and all, you become too proper in public places, I dont laik it. This was fun.
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I think on top of the list of most fulfilling was being with Shru and FnA at UB City. And spending that day with springystepped earlier as well. 6 straight hours of continous talking and catching up. Sitting at Coffee Day Square (go there, its lovely, but prices are triple usual coffee day. :|) until the waiters got fed up and tried to kick us out. Still having way too much to talk about. All that shall be remedied this week. :)
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Finally getting the hang of downloading. Whooppeee!! It feels grrrrrreat!! Little Women. I can just watch that movie over and over. The only thing I dont like about it is Beth! How could they cast her? She looks like she is possessed the entire time! And that's really NOT what Beth is like. Tchah. Laurie is *SIGH*! :) Love that movie.
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The sleepovers with Shru and FnA. And making Nigella type cheesecake for mum and dad.
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There's something about Christmas that gives me a good feeling in my tummy. :)
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A Whole Lotta Nothing, a Happy New Year, and a Very Happy Birthday La! Post

Here la! I dedicate my most boring post ever to you! Because I love you that much! :P
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Little tension is happening. Why means? 59 days until college gets over. I counted. (Yes I do crazed things like this when Im panicked.) So yes. And I have no clue what Im doing after. Or rather I have too many clues and tis difficult to choose from them. This is my final year, and there's no fixed plan, and in 59 days Im out of college, with no idea of what's ahead. Woot. Im so happy.
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Today is La's birthday. So this is all dedicated to her, my Bestest, who so often annoys me for new posts. La is far off in Madikeri, but I am with her in thoughts. I forced myself out of a very heavy blog slumber for you my goose. God knows what pleasure you derive from reading my mangled thoughts, but Im glad that you do. :)
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One of aforementioned thoughts is, how can people use yahoo mail when there is gmail? I mean HOW? Gmail is so convenient. There are so many useful little feature thingammys that make life so EASY.
Labeling, that lovely clear layout, archiving,
most importantly conversation emails, where all your replies are in one email,
gtalk right there, To do list right there,
and lately those theme things- I have Zooblimps, they is darn kyoot. :)

And how CAN people still use Hi5 (Jay sent me a friend request from there, I couldnt believe people were still active on that mess) when there's Facebook that's so much more private and convenient? (Let us not get into debating the issue of social networking sites, boon or bane? just now.)

HOW I ask you, HOW!?!! Life's mysteries, for sooth.
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The word convenient. I pronounce it differently in my head, after I recently discovered it was spelled conVENient, and not conVINient, as I'd earlier believed, and that my motorola dictionary was not stupid as I'd earlier assumed.
Convenient. Fascinating word that, and a favourite.
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Motorola sucks dude. No wonder these shooting pains down my arm have gotten so frequent (hmmm, what's that? Why yes, it IS my left arm. A heart attack you say?) I have the w375 (Yes, snazziest model ever. But it's a flip, and so I like.) and its frickin impossible to type anything on it. Nokia over Motorola any day.
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I made up a new word. It's an insult: Ridiculouse. It is used to describe someone who is both ridiculous and a louse.
Usage: That Samir is such a ridiculouse. Not only does he have no respect for women, but he also comes to college wearing clown's clothes.

Now if that's not a useful word, I dont know what is.
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It's funny how I dont swear here.
I do in real life.
*pauses*
Yes, this blog is an illusion.
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I know it's like totally unfashionable to say this, but Im still crazy about Friends. Even my dad has graduated from saying "Ay, what is this I say? Bunch of lunatics! Switch the bloody tv off!" to guffawing loudly and calling me downstairs to watch it with him every evening at seven. Its a nice little ritual we have now.
I find I am very much like Monica.
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Im very obsessed with recording things. I feel very unsettled when I havent documented something that's happened to me. Im so afraid of forgetting. And FnA's extremely pathetic memory scares me all the more. I dont want to look back and think what did I do with all that time. I have to know that I used it all properly. Im so afraid of forgetting.
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I dont put my heart out here much, do I? Most blogs read do. Not their own hearts of course, but their publisher's.

I do not wail about lost and unreturned loves here because, erm, that is just really not me.
I do not complain about feeling like shit. Much.
I do not lament about how things are not going my way.

I guess it's because Im not much the drama queen types. And Im generally a happy person. And while that does not mean Im singing soprano to little yellow canary birds perched on my fingers all day, it does mean that Im generally content.
But that also means that when Im sad, it really hits me. And I do not post about it here, because, well I just dont.
There are things I worry about. Usually I feel on top of the world, and like I can do anything, like my life will be just the way I want it to be, like I can conquer anything. And there are times I feel like nothing is going my way and I dont post about it because, well because.

I havent been too confessional diary-type personal this past year. And those are really the best blogs to read. Perhaps I shall be in the coming year.
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An Oshsay I wanted to document. What is it? Oshsay number 10? Ah yes. Number 9. Saved in a draft. Here:

Oshsays IX- February 08

1. Osh: My toe thumb is paining.
2. Osh: What? If you can have a toenail, you can have a toethumb.
3. Snumsay: What'd she call it? Big toe finger?
4: Osh: They're all toe fingers.
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Another draft: Conversation in an auto. (Some non-intelligence saved for posterity)

Tam, me, Shar and Osh on Shar's lap.

Destination: Hellhole
Time: Vairy late for psych seminar in Main Audi.

Shar: Osh. Totally creasing my kurta. Totally.
Osh: Deal with it.

Shar: With Osh on my lap and creasing my kurta, there is hardly any room for my bag. No space for my bag here AT all. Keep it behind munch? Let's not forget it ok? Remember.

*quiet for two minutes.
Shar gazes outside.
We hear humming from that corner of the auto.
She stares randomly at a couple of motorists.
She complains bitterly about a couple of motorists staring at her.*

Five minutes later.

Shar: SHIT, did I bring a bag?

Tam: *gasp*haha uhyuahyuahu haha*gasp*

We got there and you shoulda SEEN what a wretch IndustrialFellow was being. Did not let us in. And when we finally sneaked in (Poor Jay was elsewhere and left out), AbnormalLady accosted us. "Giwe me yuur roll numburs." Silence.
"Giwe.
Me.
Yuur.
Roll.
Num-
BERS."

Whereupon I gave breaknumber and worried for ages that she'd catch me.

And that is a day in the life of MM.
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Back to Lagoose and her birthday gift. (Dont throw a fit, this isnt ALL you will be getting)
My goose, here is a collage of all the ugliest pictures we have ever taken, for you.
On your 21st (Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!) birthday.
Enjoy! And I lurve you much!

I dont know what that brown square in the bottom right corner is all about. It wasnt there when I made the collage. We shall think of it as "The future", yes? :)

Ok collage not uploading. I shall try later. Know it is there, that's enough. :)
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