Showing posts with label The Gormless Lady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Gormless Lady. Show all posts

Sunday, August 31, 2008

To Ad it All Up/ A Summery II/ Thirty Days of Torture/ Internship at an ad agency

There are two kinds of posts: Those you cant for the LOVE OF GOD think up a title for, and those that you have too many for. This is one of the latter.

Let me just mention before I start this post, that one of the purposes of this blog is for me to have a record of all the things I've done. This is so that I can go over it all when Im 74, force my grandkids to read it at gunpoint, and lament weakly over how I didnt do it all better.
However, over these past few months, it has managed to most magnificently fail this very same purpose. As I have mentioned earlier, huge portions of the summer and the misery that was this June have gone completely undocumented.
So what will follow now, is an attempt to rectify this gross inadequacy, through the means of a few small and easy, albeit sporadic steps.

Beginning with the internship, which happened in April-May. It seems like a hundred years ago. Really.

Best parts:
The work. Frankly, I ended up with quite a big portfolio. Which will come in very useful, I daresay, should I choose to take up media in the future. However, since that looks highly unlikely at the moment, woo hoo.

Hark! Here is an example of the work I did:


They gave us a creative brief, telling us the details of the project. I came up with the idea, copy (that's ad lingo for "the words") and had to search for the image (Shutterstock, how I grew to dislike the sight of your webpage during these thirty days). The layout our Creative Director did. I did come up with several less cliche ideas, but this was the one they said "worked best". So okay. There you go.

Then there was the ad shoot mentioned earlier. (I'll never forget what an absolute doll Oshmunch was then). What the hell. I shall put up the pictures even though they embarrass the hell outta me.















Yes, so there was that.
Then there was the Other MM sitting two cubicles behind me. Thank god for our chats and conversation (which we interspersed with small amounts of work). Dunno how I'd have survived without her there. And Osh amusing me with her Circle incidents. I think I was exceedingly rude, poor chap. Bah, but if you have that thin a skin, I cant help you.

Coming up with ideas, I really liked. That was clearly what I was best at. (I was NOT adept at searching for images, which I'd to do a lot of, and found quite frankly, torturous.)
Ideas, I liked. In fact, I shall gloat a little and paste a little note the boss sent around. :)
(Give me a break, it was like the high point of my internship.)

A note from Shenoy
Dear all of you who gave it their best lines for the Infosys faces campaign,
finally six lines have been shortlisted for presentation to the client. And the only ones that made it to the final list are all three from Madhu, and three from me.

Good show Madhu!

And guys, think about why yours didn't make it through. Maybe you were either too busy/overloaded with regular work or just didn't think things through/persist with it enough. Or both.

yours truly,
The 'i-have-infosys-coming-out-of-
my-ears' face of TG Shenoy
*gloats a little more*

People were nice too, some of em. Liked Artsy and Wildlifebuff the best. Oh my god, Oshmunch and I came up with nick/codenames for all of them, to use in our conversations. :D I cannot remember any of them now. Oh wait, Pedophile! And Egg!

We communicated via gtalk, all of us. Osh and I have had a hundred chats at least in those thirty days. We were sitting what, 15 ft away from each other? :D
Osh: Im borrrrrred as hell... what u doing?
MM: Staring at screen. 11.45 we'll go off for lunch ok?
Osh: Godforsaken office.
MM: Egg alert! Egg Alert! Switch window!

The internship had its several thousand frustrating moments also. I remember coming here and reading the bit I'd written in the April Update... and wanting to literally throw up.
Some of my more mundane jobs included editing a Gormless-Lady-type Word Document to make it presentable to the public for an employee newsletter for this company.
Some of the more delectable excerpts from this word docu describing an office party (please read each word carefully):

Sweets were distributed to sweeten the day.

Finally, all too soon, it was time to leave but we look forward to this wonderful experience again, and you people don’t get envious because for that night we were surely the lucky one.

It damn near killed me. I cannot stand Gormless-Lady-Type English. Especially written Gormless-Lady-Type English. Aaaargh. Almost died that day.

To ad it all up, there was good, there was bad, there was ugly. And here are some pics of the workplace.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

I Cant Sleep

Well, here I am. Its three frickin fifteen AM and I cant sleep. Wonderful situation to be in, you agree?

But why you ask, this wakefulness? Oh, a combination of factors really. Cant place my finger on what exactly.

It might be the sweltering heat that has descended upon the city.
It might be because Im hungry, because I skipped dinner, because its summer and thats when I lose the will to ingest food (Catch me being that way any other time of year.)
It might be that goshdarned mosquito that cant take its goddamn proboscis off me.
It might be because Im angry and am swearing too much.

OR
it could be because I got up at noon today.
Bloody study holidays. I swear I havent witnessed the morning for three days.

My mum has taken to cutting articles from newspapers and reading them out to me in severe tones as I groggily open my eyes each lunchtime.
"Why do you insist on being a Night Owl MM? Eh? Why cant you be an Early Bird? The health benefits are so much better. No doubt Night Owls are more creative and interesting as compared to well... the rather boring Early Birds, says this article that has so many references, but statistics prove that they have twice as many health problems MM. Twice."

*Grunt grumble groan snooze.*

I think Ive established from the past week or so that I am ABSOLUTELY NOT a morning person. I'm barely alive between the hours of 6 and 11 in the morning.

I exaggerate, of course.
*Rolls eyes.
*
I have been able to keep awake during the exams - 9.30 to 12.30am. (With the exception of General English- snooze fest if ever there was one.)

Nevertheless, my body clock has been well and truly destroyed this March- April. Smashed against a wall of granite, steamrolled by a gigantic truck, thrown off the Grand Canyon, whichever your imagination pleases. I doubt I shall ever be the same. My health is ruined and I have shaved off 10 years of my life. Nice accomplishment I think, for this month.

On a celebratory note, I wrote my last Sanskrit exam on the 11th. My last sanskrit exam EVER! (I do not think I will fail this one, unless the Gormless Lady reads this post. Fingers crossed.)

So bring out the champagne!
Never again EVER will have to attend those absolutely meaningless classes.
Never again will I have to stare at her lip movements in a desperate attempt to make sense of what shes saying.
Never again will I have to worry that she's secretly plotting to fail us all (which she did first sem mid term)
Never again will I have to pretend to like her, smile sickeningly at her (that took effort), and be polite to her when I was seething with rage from within.

Ah the Gormess Lady has gotten on many a nerve. She's stomped on them all in fact.
But now its over.
OVER!!!
And in celebration I shall write a little free verse addressed to her.

Go jump
in a
Well.

The particular well you
so eloquently
described
In third sem text book:

"If yany fuvar legged animal is going to be
dying
in a vell,
then what we must be going to be doing is,
to be
DRAYNING the vell,
and wiping the
REMAYNING water with a cloth."

Go jump
in that
Well.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

A Random Bit of Jan-Feb

A post scribbled sporadically over Jan and Feb.

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I have to have to have to make a little mention about a small obsession I once had with a band that call themselves McFly. I was in love with them. Yes. Well and truly.
It was Snum who first introduced me to them.
"MM, you have GOT to check out McFly... you know, that non descript band from Just My Luck, the movie starring Lindsay Lohan that we watched in the theatres ages ago and bitched about constantly for months after?"
"Oh them. Pshaw."
"No really. They're hot. Not to mention hilarious."
So I grudgingly went down to YouTube and watched a couple of their vids.
The four of them together are absolutely hilarious. I was in love. With them all.

Now that is all just so January.

Now I'm just in love with Tom Fletcher. I shall marry him one day. Just see if I dont.
Only kidding.
Snum however is still completely insanely madly obsessed with them. Oh my munch, when will you grow out of these crazed fads?

I am also in love with SteandKel. If YOU can understand their accents and think they're hilarious, contact me ASAP!
18.03.07 PS: Their latest video is crap. Try their earlier ones.
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The Exams. Well whatever. I totally messed up sanskrit (would you blame me?) and opt eng. *makes wry face*
Photography everyone finished in one hour. The last half hour Y was turning around and making weird faces at me, there was that much time left and everyone was so bored, the paper was that effortless.
I have a feeling this should really depress me, but Im choosing to let it entertain me, just for now.
___________________________________________________________________

I was still writing during the last fifteen minutes of photography exam, and was much rebuked by classmates for this. I would like to take this opportunity to explain why.
It wasnt because I was attempting all the questions twice, or because I wrote ten pages for each 2 mark question.

The secret is, Im a procrastinator.

There, Ive said it.
If I have two hours to do something, I wont bloody finish it off in the first hour. I'll sit there and crib in my head about how boring it is. I'll sleep. I'll even day dream. And in the last half an hour, I will get to writing.
Its not the best way of doing things, I agree, but it is more challenging. If you finish it all off too early, you dont feel like you've accomplished anything. But if theres this nailbiting finish, and a struggle to finish on time, you feel like you've actually done something at the end of it all.
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The munches are the same way. Thats why our psych stall went up just a little bit late. But we got 20 on 20 for it. Yay! We did do a good job, even if I do say so myself. The topic was what made it really interesting. "
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Su2's birthday. Treated us in that rooftop place the sweetheart. It was fun, except for the puke inducing orange shirts of the world. And the back sprain. And the dude that gave us a bar of chocolate, which Snum promptly put in the little bill book as a tip for the waiter.

Su1's birthday. I like how we were dropped back in style. And how we got to party despite the ban (shh) which I do not think we'll be able to do for a while now. The funnest part was being with the munches, after, before, during. :)
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Jodhaa Akbar was quite nice. I loved the costumes and jewelery *gives girly sigh* And Hrithik *girlier sigh*
Enchanted we watched by mistake, but it wasnt too bad. Osh was unbelievably embarrassing though :D
Jumper was kinda cool. And Hayden Christensen is HOT. I totally enjoyed Shattered Glass.
Osh is obsessed with PS I Love You. Says it brilliantly she does, the munch.

We are all now officially broke.
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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Gormless Lady- A Passage

Somehow or the other, the Gormless Lady always manages to feature a lot here at Leaves.
She irks me so.

She recently gave us a bit of indigestion over our CIA (Continious Internal Assessment) and threatened to give me Y and Su1 zero marks out of 20.
("Seeee, you are all going to be taking this too lightly. And so I am going to be having to take some measures for this. Because otherwise you people will never be learning.")
But she cooled down after four days and allowed us to present our assignment which went off quite ok.

I have no one to really rant about it all with. My classmates who've taken this blessed language- RampagingBull, Y and Su1 to name a few- are all pretty much resigned to the whole thing. They couldnt be less bothered that she has massacred both logic and the english language and handed it over to us in a small sickly yellow book that cost us each 60 bucks. And which she refused to let us xerox for 10 bucks instead.
But I just cant get over the whole thing. And Leaves is the perfect outlet for my frustrations.

A passage of translation from her text book. Word for word. Down to the last punctuation mark. Now YOU tell me what you'd write in one of her exams.

"Those who after gaining knowledge, but never respects teaches even though living near to them, never service them ion mind, words or by action, for them excess they sin due to them killing a child will be affecting other than these no one will be more sinful like it is duty of teacher to lead the student to gain knowledge for self emancipation, in the same manner it is righteous attitude to do services for teacher."


I mean, seriously. It'd be okay if it was just the grammar that was wrong, but if the thing just doesnt make any sense, something has to be said.

Please dont judge my college based on the gormless lady though. They've been tryng to get rid of her forever, but she's just not budging, and she's got a scholorship and is employed by the govt or something, so they cant do anything.
Reason Im feeling friendly to college is because they have realised how stupid they were about the Titan Eye+ vouchers which I mentioned here, that they gave us for topping the class. And as a compensatory measure, they gave us all gift vouchers for Strand Book Stall. Goody.
Also they gave us 700 bucks for winning Creative writing at InBloom.
So I like them now. Yes.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

A Random Bit of December

It was a squeeze, but I JUST managed to finish everything on time. Did I stay up till 5.30 in the morning trying to finish the assignments? Was I so dead sleepy in college that I fell asleep while walking to the main gate and had to be picked up and slapped by grumbling friends? Did I have to refuse to go party that night for fear of dying from exhaustion? Why, of course not. *disapproving look*
This 13th hour thing. It's a disease.
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You know how when you're lying down and talking to someone who's sitting up, their chin looks like a nose? And their lower lip looks like an upperlip, and their upper lip looks like a lower lip? And its like there's a face on the bottom half of their real face upside down? And you cant concentrate on what they're saying to you because you're too busy laughing hysterically at the whole charade? No?
Snum does. Thank god I found Snum.
___________________________________________________________________

Message Snum sent me today evening: I am not talking to you ever again. I dislike you immensely. You should go jump off the nearest pole. Climb it... then jump off it.

The reason: I know not. Minor, I'm sure.

Despite these small glitches, Snum and I are best friends.
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I was felicitated. Or as they said "facilitated". For topping the class last sem. (Woo hoo! :)) Nice function it was. Parents were mighty impressed with the state of the art audi and lights and effects and campus and all. Full vaaaav! they were.
But very disappointing was the voucher. From Titan eye+.
Five hundred rupees off on Titan Eye+ goods.
Blah. I know.
Wait there's more.
You only get the discount on purchasing items for Rs 2000 or more.
Talk about crazy. And wait...
No discount on accessories and all. No cool sunglasses, watches and all that.
Only eye glasses :|
So if you dont have power, first develop power (by March 2008, when coupon will expire), then spend Rs 2000 and avail your 500 rupees off discount.

What did you get for topping, MM? Oooo, a chance to spend 1500 bucks from my own pocket, for a pair of glasses I just don't need!
Vaav!

Me, Monkeychild and Other MM had nice time complaining, and taking crazy photos.
___________________________________________________________________

No Birds only in Birds park today. I consider it improvement.
___________________________________________________________________

I notice I am talking very colloquially. Or as gormless lady pronounces it, collokwially.
___________________________________________________________________

Gormless Lady didnt give attendance for this felicitation thing. What the hell.

Also, she says
MoreEVER for MoreOVER

and she says it a lot.

And during attendance she calls out numbers 11 71, 11 72, 11 75 as
"Len senty vun...
Len senty to...
Len senty-fy..."

More reasons why she should be burned at the stake.
___________________________________________________________________

I am for some reason reminded of my seventh standard maths teacher... one of the many we had that year. She had big teeth and she sat on the table not at it. We hated her.
One of her particularly famous dialogues: "Either you will simplify, or I will make you to simplyFLY out of the class."
:|
___________________________________________________________________

Have you seen that video of the baby laughing everytime it tears a sheet of paper? :D
I've been laughing like that a lot lately, its so much fun, and its doing me a world of good.
___________________________________________________________________

Saturday, October 27, 2007

We're all Going On A...

We're going to Goa! We're going to Goa! We're going to Goa! *Runs around in circles screaming and waving hands like a mad person*


*Stops*

The three of us for five days.
It is going to be like, so awesome.
*screams excitedly*
___________________________________________________________________

In other news, the English-killing gormless lady's paper is over! Torturous it was, really. Especially because I wasnt well the last night, planned to get up at five and study, ended up waking at 8.45 and having to rush there without having studied a thing, and entered the exam hall 20 minutes late, with a headache. The paper was a mess. Urgh. Came back home and flung my unread notes aside. My mum picked them up in amusement. Couple of minutes later she was in hysterics. She has newfound pity for me when talk to her of my language class woes.
The English notes were incomprehensible. Made absolutely no sense.
But anyway, its over! I wish I could say it was my last, but at least I can say its my last but one. How I will celebrate at the end of fourth semester when I can give the whole darn thing up.
___________________________________________________________________

Also, I just thought I'd mention how unnerving it is when your parents talk about you as if you arent around. Mine do that a lot. In the car especially when we're driving to the occasional function or family get-together. This morning as we're driving to one, they're sitting there and talking.
I mean, just because I'm in the back seat, doesnt mean I've gone completely stone deaf.

"Youngsters these days. Mrs so and so at the lab was telling me how she cant afford to depend on any of the younger crowd for anything. They're married to their phones. The phone is always a priority for them. Always."
"And they're never on time. What's the difficulty in getting there at the time specified?"
"My friend was telling me how her daughter leaves her clothes all about the place. Its the same thing with MM. She just leaves her things where ever she wants to and I have to pick up after her."
"If they'd only look at their watches from time to time, thats all I'm asking."
"If you tell them, they get angry with you. Hypersensitive."

And I just sat there listening in amusement. Maybe they're trying to tell me something.

Nah, that couldnt be it.

Friday, October 12, 2007

The last half of September

A delightful bit of randomness scribbled over the the last two weeks of September.
:| Not.
I dont particularly like these randomness posts with all the lines in the middle. Easy to write of course, but too much like diary entries and horribly boring.
Still, we must keep this blog alive, and I'll do what I must to ensure its survival.
__________________________________________________________________

I noticed when Osh and I went to the slum area on a photography assignment how terribly difficult it can be living somewhere if you dont know the local language.
Very tough to get yourself out of sticky situations if you dont speak the same language everyone else does. And if you do: immediate cameraderie.
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Beauty and the Geek. Or perhaps, as it should have been called, Dolts meet the Socially Dim-witted.
Surprisingly interesting. And educative. I didnt know it was possible for people to be that dumb.
A fan of trashy television, I am.
Hooked.
___________________________________________________________________

Start of angry unwarranted rant, previously shared with Y and Snum
Okay okay. So Hutch is now Vodafone. We get it. For crying out loud. You dont have to play the ad again and again and again. How much did you have to pay Star to have them play ONLY your ad, continuously, the whole day?

It was an effective ad. Played once, I noticed it. Smiled even, at the cute little pug bemused by the changes his doghouse had suddenly undergone. Hummed along with the tune. Noted the change, and carefully stored the piece of information in my head. Hutch now Vodafone. Done.

But then it came on again.
And again.
Once more.
And again after that.
It was like a nightmare I couldnt wake up from.

Once would have been enough every half hour. You didnt have to make flashy signs that played during the course of every programme on Star World, cruelly distracting the viewer from the programme she was so interested in.
And then play the ad with that ghastly tune over and over again between programmes.

Waste of money that. Not to mention bloody irritating. Was that your aim? To infuriate present and potential customers? To insult their intelligence? "Duh, like, guys, I dont think they'll understand unless we play it over and over again, like, 27 million times," is that what you thought? Gah!
End angry rant
___________________________________________________________________

That superlatives application is really cool ya.
__________________________________________________________________

They're out. Our lab journals and anthologies. We didnt do anything until the 13th hour, of course. Lounged about making vague statements about what we were going to do. Yawned and postponed and told people to chill man, there's so much time.
Got into petty but entertaining little fights over who was being bossy and who was just not getting off their asses goddammit! (Not our group, smirk, we just watched eagerly from afar)

So it ended up that a whole lotta of work in three short days was what brought the little things into this world. Sigh. What a feeling when they came out.
They arent perfect though. Not nearly.

If anyone had said that to me at the time I was lugging them back from the printers I'd have socked them squarely on the jaw. But now that ample time has passed and I have had the chance to mellow out slightly, and glance over the fruits of our labours with a less biased eye, I notice there are several terrific blunders. Ah well, I accept them, flaws and all.
___________________________________________________________________

Nobody knows how to use Quark Express. Nobody. Not even the gits over at Print Xpress. If you do, you could open a small shop and earn millions. Go on, I dare you.
___________________________________________________________________

She who said the stuff in the last random thought from here, really takes the biscuit.
She kills the English language. And I dont mean she hands it a glass of juice with sleeping pills in it. I mean she takes a sledge hammer and literally hacks at it till it's screaming with pain and agony, and is begging her to get the hell away and leave it alone.

Some of her worst crimes would be
- always using a kind of tense thats a cross between present continuous and I-dont-know-what-the-hell-else, that I as far as I know, doesnt exist. Eg: "He is going to be having a name, which is going to be Virahamihira."
- writing a whole goddamn text book in despicable English.
Among her latest and less henious crimes are, saying
"ReJUNIate" for "Rejuvinate" and
"Atanomy" for "Anatomy"

It made me want to laugh out loud in class. You should have seen me struggling. Would have been disasterous if I had. Fatal, even, considering how much she adores people from our creamy combo.
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Sunday, August 26, 2007

A Few Random Thoughts and Rants

A slightly more boring post, but read on, do...
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It's odd how a movie or a book can change your perspective so dramatically for a few days following it. It can alter your mood, change the way you look at things, make you react to something in a completely different way than you otherwise would have, and consequently, affect your life in a very big way.
You need to pick very carefully what you're reading when. Movies, its not so bad- only the really powerful ones affect you. Thats why I just love a good chick flick. Involves you for an hour or two and leave you feeling the same as before, if not more cheerful. No worries about whether they will have an impact on you.
Its scary to think how important every single thing that happens is.
To think what a drastic impact something so small can have on your life, and on other people's lives. As they say,

"For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail."

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Isnt it horrible? The Hyderabad bomb incident. Why why why. Why do there have to be these groups of people who are so senseless and desperate they think killing people en masse will help their cause be heard?
And the photos the newspapers had splashed accross the front page. Did you see them?
Horrible, horrible, the whole thing.
_____________________________________________________________________

I could never understand why some people made such a fuss about contributing to the "Sponsor a Child" scheme that our class undertook.

Pay a hundred rupees this year, and as a class you can pay for the entire schooling of one poverty stricken child.

Change the course of that one child's life.
Give him a chance to make something of himself.

We all watch the news, we all hear about the suffering thats happening, and wish we could do something about it.
But we cant.
Its all just too much and too impossible, so we forget about t.

But when you have a chance like this, where a mere hundred rupees from your wallet could change the course of a downtrodden person's life, why would anyone complain?

And yet, some people did.
It angered me NO END.

We CANT do stuff alone. You cant help a person in need by yourself, in a big way. You cant sponsor an education. Nobody expects a student to be able to spend 7,200 to help a child in poverty.

But if as a class, you are given the opportunity to help an indivdual in need to get an education- something that will get him through,
if you can alter the outcome of one person's life,
if you can make a difference, help change the world for the better, however slightly,
by contributing 100 rupees,
why in the hell would you complain about it being a waste of money?

A waste? You're giving somebody something they could only dream of achieving on their own. An education that they wouldnt have a chance in hell of getting without any help.
An education is a huge gift.
I felt relieved that I was going to be able to provide something that meaningful to someone who needed it, just by contributing a hundred rupees. And some people were complaining. Evading it.

A hundred is too much they said. Did they think of what that hundred could do? An education! A hundred from us is giving that child a 7200 he couldnt possibly get otherwise, for an education that will get him through life.

Go without two burgers you might have otherwise had, so that somebody in really bad circumstances can get a shot at making something of himself.

Aaargh, I just had to vent that out.

4.9.07- I've just remembered. It was Snum. She was broke poor thing. And I shouted at her and we had a big fight and all. Hee hee. I got confused and thought it was TheQuickOne. Apparently, TheQuickOne was shouting at Snum too. Snum remembers everything.
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The media has immense power. Immense. Newspapers especially. They feed opinions. They're shaping people. Its funny to think people like me and Jay actually had a say in that. We were forming opinions. Its too scary to even think about. Ugh, I dont want to have to do that everyday as a job. It would get too tiring that I wouldnt have enough energy to care what I write, and then who knows what harm would I be causing!
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Im extra sensitive today. And by that I dont mean I cried or anything. I mean that things I normally wouldnt break my head over, I am. Things that normally wouldnt make me feel, are. I can tell just by re reading this post. About everything. But a really nice time I had. Thanks to Osh and Nicehair. The breezy restaurant... the awesome food... the relaxing conversation... the lazy shopping... the thrill of a new purchase... the wind in our hair... the pani puri... some good natured cribbing... And to top it all off, a nice long long talk with Bestest that did wonders even though half-finished :)
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To hell with all those assignments.
_____________________________________________________________________

You know who said these:

***
"Snakes are going to be not having eyes."
"But ma'am, they d..."
"Most of the reptiles are going to be not having eyes. Especially the snakes."

***
"Soma is going to be the one that is going to be a type of plant."

***
"The essence of life live in water is brought to our notice."

***
"Lactic acid cells will enrich the soil and will to be helping the soil, and naturally helping to the mother earth."

(Lactic acid cells? PS comment on this!)

***

She said them I swear! :D
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Monday, June 25, 2007

Hitch

I really liked the movie. Laughed so much. Albert Brennaman is the funniest thing. Especially when he dances. I totally enjoyed it. :D
The dialogue made absolutely no sense whatsoever in some places though.

In the last scene:
Hitch runs after car carrying Sara Melas and Other Guy in it and jumps a-top it.
Hitch
(through sunroof): You’ll never be fine, and neither will I!
Sara stops car in shock, Hitch falls on road, Sara gasps.
Other guy:
Maybe I should drive.
Sara to Hitch:
Are you trying to get yourself killed?
Hitch:
If that’s what it takes. (?)
Sara’s sister: Sara what happened?
Sara: He jumped on the car!
Sara’s sister: Why?

Hitch: Because that’s what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly. Because otherwise, we just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the hell did I jump. But here I am Sara, falling. And there’s only one person that makes me feel like I can fly. And that’s you.

(*Pauses to stare expectantly at you*
Seriously... what??
Did you understand that?
No, tell me. I'm dying to know what he meant.
This dialogue wasnt meant to be dumb.
There are some parts in the movie where the characters are supposed to sound like they have mashed peas for brains. This was not one of them.
He hadn’t hit himself on the head or anything in the previous scene, I checked.
There was all this senty music was playing in the background. I watched and listened carefully.
And Sara was all like "Ooo he's saying something really deep and meaningful! I think I'm falling for him!" during the whole bit.)

Sara: So you kinda like me huh?
Hitch: Nah, I love you. I loved you since…
(Kiss)
Sara:
If I say it back now it sounds so stupid.
(Sara, sweetie, nothing you could say would sound more stupid than what Hitch told you just now. Go on. Tell him that you love him. Aww.)

Oh well. Despite some of the dialogue-that-doesnt-make-sense, the movie is a complete laugh riot. And that Brennaman guy is absolutely brilliant.