Saturday, April 12, 2008

I Cant Sleep

Well, here I am. Its three frickin fifteen AM and I cant sleep. Wonderful situation to be in, you agree?

But why you ask, this wakefulness? Oh, a combination of factors really. Cant place my finger on what exactly.

It might be the sweltering heat that has descended upon the city.
It might be because Im hungry, because I skipped dinner, because its summer and thats when I lose the will to ingest food (Catch me being that way any other time of year.)
It might be that goshdarned mosquito that cant take its goddamn proboscis off me.
It might be because Im angry and am swearing too much.

OR
it could be because I got up at noon today.
Bloody study holidays. I swear I havent witnessed the morning for three days.

My mum has taken to cutting articles from newspapers and reading them out to me in severe tones as I groggily open my eyes each lunchtime.
"Why do you insist on being a Night Owl MM? Eh? Why cant you be an Early Bird? The health benefits are so much better. No doubt Night Owls are more creative and interesting as compared to well... the rather boring Early Birds, says this article that has so many references, but statistics prove that they have twice as many health problems MM. Twice."

*Grunt grumble groan snooze.*

I think Ive established from the past week or so that I am ABSOLUTELY NOT a morning person. I'm barely alive between the hours of 6 and 11 in the morning.

I exaggerate, of course.
*Rolls eyes.
*
I have been able to keep awake during the exams - 9.30 to 12.30am. (With the exception of General English- snooze fest if ever there was one.)

Nevertheless, my body clock has been well and truly destroyed this March- April. Smashed against a wall of granite, steamrolled by a gigantic truck, thrown off the Grand Canyon, whichever your imagination pleases. I doubt I shall ever be the same. My health is ruined and I have shaved off 10 years of my life. Nice accomplishment I think, for this month.

On a celebratory note, I wrote my last Sanskrit exam on the 11th. My last sanskrit exam EVER! (I do not think I will fail this one, unless the Gormless Lady reads this post. Fingers crossed.)

So bring out the champagne!
Never again EVER will have to attend those absolutely meaningless classes.
Never again will I have to stare at her lip movements in a desperate attempt to make sense of what shes saying.
Never again will I have to worry that she's secretly plotting to fail us all (which she did first sem mid term)
Never again will I have to pretend to like her, smile sickeningly at her (that took effort), and be polite to her when I was seething with rage from within.

Ah the Gormess Lady has gotten on many a nerve. She's stomped on them all in fact.
But now its over.
OVER!!!
And in celebration I shall write a little free verse addressed to her.

Go jump
in a
Well.

The particular well you
so eloquently
described
In third sem text book:

"If yany fuvar legged animal is going to be
dying
in a vell,
then what we must be going to be doing is,
to be
DRAYNING the vell,
and wiping the
REMAYNING water with a cloth."

Go jump
in that
Well.

9 comments:

Lalitha said...

I have lost the internet. I have the shakes. O the pain. O the tragic pathos...the miserable existance.....aaaaaaaah! I'm PRINTING stuff! I cannot access email...I have to TALK to people and go to a STORE to buy stuff! sniff poor me poor myself poor i....a little dark gray personal rain cloud hovers over my head it has no silver lining....it hides my tears....o internet o modem...o life...

Vaishnavi said...

My sentiments exactly!!! :D About the subject, not the gormless lady though...I would really like to see her someday! Your descriptions have created a rather ghastly image of her in my mind! Darn, I missed her the last time I was there! Our sanskrit teacher was quite the opposite...she was such a sweetheart about generously dishing marks out to those 'Journalism' girls who arent like all other 'Arts esstudents'! :)

Vaishnavi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MM said...

@Lalitha: No internet!!! Arrrgh Im praying for you I really am!! I hope the dark grey cloud evaporates and vanishes soon soon soon!!

@Vash: You HAVE to meet the Gormless lady next time you come. We'll stalk her if we have to! And you have to see the dastardly book she has written us that Ive been thrusting at everyone I meet. I swear you'll laugh like crazy!

Ashwini said...

hey...
Loved the verse... and the well and the wiping and the drying....

La said...

MM, I will be there in every "faucet" of you life. ok? :D :D

ok?

Rookie said...

@MM: Are all sanskrit teachers like that? I mean, my teacher kept publishing books too. And they didn't sell, so he tried to make us buy them with threats of, "Some questshuns will be appearinga forom my boook. You should read it fully."
Rescuing four-legged creatures fallen in wells hardly seems to be a part of any sloka I have come across. Why did that topic come up in class anyway?

Rookie said...

@MM: Are all sanskrit teachers like that? I mean, my teacher kept publishing books too. And they didn't sell, so he tried to make us buy them with threats of, "Some questshuns will be appearinga forom my boook. You should read it fully."
Rescuing four-legged creatures fallen in wells hardly seems to be a part of any sloka I have come across. Why did that topic come up in class anyway?

MM said...

@V: It wasn't a questshun of rescuing anything... the shloka described what one must do in the morbid situation where the poor four legged creature has already died in the well. (Two legged creatures dont count btw. Neither does a cow that is lame in one foot. In such a case, you could go in drinking from the well as usual)

The creature has fallen into it perhaps, or thrown itself in there, the reason matters not. The point is, you are supposed to drayn the well, and wipe the remayning water with a cloth.
NOW TELL ME IF THAT ISNT A USEFUL BIT OF INFORMATION TO HAVE.

She forced ecology, botany and zoology down our throats... in sanskrit. This was part of the zoology bit:
What to do if a cow dies in your well.

I cant tell you how happy I am that it's over. You really have GOT to see that text book she wrote for us. It's a right treasure.