Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Oshsays VII- Glasses

Snum has to get glasses.
:'( I know! But she'll still look nice, I'm sure.

So Osh and I are walking down to the gate and Snum's wailing over the phone about her glasses news.
I mention to Osh whats going on.

What she says next astounds me.

"Eleven grand ya. They're gonna cost eleven grand."

I stare at her with disbelief written right accross my forehead. She continues.

"Cheapest. Cheapest you'll get is that."

More staring. Snum wails in the background.

"The glasses. Thats whats expensive. More than the frames."


"Really. Im being serious. I wear glasses no? Eleven grand. Minimum."

I begin to think that people with glasses must be really rich.
Osh is getting really ridiculous now, and I mention to Snum whats going on. I wait while she stares in disbelief.
I decide to get Osh to explain.

"The actual glass part will cost you around 600. And the frames will be 500."

Apparently, thats eleven grand.

Note to Self: Dont ever accept financial advice from Osh.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Bestest Said...

Bestest said

"We live in different universes. Imagine all the things I could see if I saw through your mind, or if you saw through mine..."

Thursday, February 22, 2007

On the Back of a Bike

... that me and Snum saw today was pasted the words:

"My death on road."

In colourful letters.

The weirdness, I tell you.
What, does he want to die in some accident?
Is he saying his bike is a personification of death? Very poorly put, if thats the case.


Oshsays VI- Arabian Nights

She said:

"No, I mean those, Arabian Goodnight Stories."


"...in that Ali Baba and the Forty Chors."

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Bestest and MM Home Truths

It is, in fact, impossible to study. The conditions under which this glorious activity does take place, however, is as follows:

1. It HAS to be 10pm or later in the night.
There HAS to be an exam the next day.

Oshsays- V Text Message

Osho is cryptic even in her text messages.
This is what she sent me:

Fun baccha. .Is out of ?Tn. .Yeah. .U 2 hv a nice day!

Oh oh! Perhaps she meant "Fun, child, is out of the question"!
Ooo I'm brilliant arent I?
Wonder what purpose the Tn served.
Have a nice day, she says, the sweetheart.
Well, whatever she meant, this message is crazy enough to go down as an Oshsay.
She's just given a dance performance (multitalented my little Osh is)
Must hear all about it college. Perhaps we'll get a few more Oshsays!
Till then! :-)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Oshsays IV- Media seminar

Today we had a media seminar.
Yesterday also.
9 to4.
Print, Radio, TV, Film.

Do I sound dead?
Yes, well thats because I almost did die, of boredom despite all the efforts the third years took. I'm sorry, but seminars will be boring, no matter who conducts them.
Thank god for Osh and her Says.

Today was Valentines Day. I dont know why everyone was making such a big deal of it. I've never paid much attention to it.

Did you know that if you wear pink today, it means that you are accepting proposals, and if you wear black it means you're rejecting them?
Silly really. Depends on who proposes, doesnt it? What if someone you really dont like asks you out, and you happen to be wearing pink, because you thought the guy you did like was going to ask you? Puts you in a rather sticky situation, doesnt it, if you follow that logic?
Personally I think all this proposing business is particularly dumb not to mention awkward and embarrassing. But its what the world does, so whatever.

Anyway, Osho was telling us this useful nugget of information, just as I was thinking what I lovely shade of pink her salwar was.

I voiced my thoughts.
She gave me a glare.
No, she said, it was lavendar.
Snum and I exchanged an evil glance.

Ha! Osho was getting hysterical about a small thing again. (She does this from time to time.) What fun it would be to pull her leg a little!

"No, Osh." said Snum in her best I-know-what-I'm-talking-about voice. "That shade is very definitely a pink. Very pretty it is though."

Osh gave her a glare.
"Lavender. Its lavender. How can lavender be pink."

Snum continued "No, thats really pink Osh, lavender you know, is a light purple shade, see?"
And then came our first Oshsay:

Said very quickly and in a pissed off tone:
"Lavender, let me tell you, falls under the violet category. You know, crimson? If you mix crimson and navy blue, when you mix the two, thats when you get this particular shade called as lavender, okay?"

We laughed a bit at her, and then, since we were dead bored, the discussion led to music. Osh was doing pretty well actually. She was making sense and everything.

Unfortunately she went on to pronounce two majorly famous artistes' names completely wrong.
a. Christina Aguilera.
The Oshsay was: "Christiana Aguilera."
Her arguement was that in an autograph of hers that Osh has, Christina's spelt her name like that.
Snum and I told her that Christina must have just not cared about the spelling of her name enough to stall herself in her desperate rush to get the hell away from Osho, and this comment unfortunately, did not go down too well with dear Osh.

b. Enrique Iglesias.
The Oshsay was: "Enrique Igarius."
And no amount of screaming would change her mind.

In her anger, she said "You people need to get your ears waxed!"
At least we thought she said that.
Apparently, she'd said "You people need to get your ear wax removed."

As we were laughing about that one, she screamed "You twits! Whats wrong with you? Do you remember one end of the sentence and the other end and forget everything in between???"

Snum and I were too deep in hysterics to stop there, so I got out a sheet of paper to write down all the Oshsays we were getting and sat poised as if to take notes.
This angered Osho. She grabbed at the sheet of paper. Deftly, I snatched it out of reach. She caught hold of my kurta by mistake instead, and said "Madhu, if you dont give that sheet to me, Im going to rip your clothes off!"
...and was highly embarrassed after.

After Snum and I had laughed and told her to "Control yourself Osho! For pity's sake!" enough number of times, she settled down to complain about her existance in the kitchen blog.

First she said, in an angry voice "What will my children think?"
I ferociously scribbled into the paper while Snum laughed at Osho's indignance.

"You're making me a public property!"
Scribble scribble. Giggle giggle.

"You're barging into my privacy!"
Scribble scribble. Giggle giggle.

And she ended with a vehement
"I will take you to court!"

Despite her occassional Oshsays though, Osh is really smart. Very clever kid. And she is very very sweet. :-)

Special Note: The number of Oshsays heard by Snum today, I'm sorry to say has had a rather bad influence on her own speaking abilities.
The first recorded Snumsay was made today: "What feelingless people!" she said shaking her fists at the speakers who WOULD JUST NOT STOP.
Silly Snum. :-)

Friday, February 9, 2007

Oshsays III

Wondering why the heading hasnt changed?
Well, its just that everyone's just gotten too used to Oshsays. Very reluctant they all are, to call them Oshisms. And who am I to tell them what to call these oh so amusing nuggets of wisdom?

So, Oshsays they will remain.

Here are a few more:
1. "Why am I being debated upon my vocabulary?"
2. "My paper was really bad! I've just written things in random succession!"
3. "Okay okay. My grammatical sense makes no sense."

Recorded at: the MM-unfriendly Casa Picola restaurant where me and Zz have decided to go again only after we start earning (and probably not even then).

Tuesday, February 6, 2007


Forgive me, but apart from seeing peoples faces in cars, I also have the habit of seeing animals in peoples faces.

Sheryl Crowe. What does she remind you of, which animal? Dont read further, just take a minute and choose...

Doesnt she remind you of a horse? Come on, Bestest... Doesnt she?
I was just listening to her songs. Thats when the thought popped into my head.
Great voice she's got.

As does Norah Jones. Sigh, what would we have done without Norah Jones? I got a few of her songs. Ones I havent heard before. So, so nice.


I met Garfield yesterday. Well, at least I met a fat orange LAZY cat on my way back from college. It was walking across the sunny road. S l o w l y. We had to wait for his royal highness to pass before we could move on. I wanted to stop and chat. But I could see he wasnt up to it.

I've mentioned the sun before, havent I? I mean at how beautiful sunlight can be?
How indescribable it feels against your back on a cold cold day, how you could just fall asleep, like that, standing up, feeling so comfortable.
Perhaps thats why Garfield was walking so slowly. He wanted to enjoy the sunlight for a few minutes before his next snooze.

Have you seen the cat in Problem Child? Hahahaha. Oh that movie is so funny, and so cute! hahahaha... The cat, junior breaks its legs or something by "mistake", and both its front legs are in casts, and the way it walks accross the lawn is so hilarious! Oh god, I'm laughing just thinking about that cat!
I know you dont like the movie Bestest, but cats can be funny too, you know, in addition to geese and llamas. :D

My favourite part of that movie is the next door neighbour girl's party. You know, where Junior is dressed as a devil, and all the kids gang up on him, so he throws all her presents into the swimming pool (which is of course, unnoticed until later on) and sets up the sprinkler in her room and stuff.
The girl, is very very perfect for the role. Its a fancy dress party, and she's dressed as a flower, oh gosh, Im laughing again, and they're playing this song "Its my Party and I'll cry if I want to!" and she's crying and throwing tantrums and juniors all smiling and looking evil about it.
Hahaha oh, that part really worked. Thats my favourite part of the movie.

I won a fancy dress competetion when I was 5. My mum made the costume, and I was a fairy :) hee hee. My first taste of success. My parents had the certificate framed. Well they put it into this frame we already had.

You know, KBC is starting to work with Shah Rukh in it. Im beginning to like him, as a host, not as Shah Rukh (because I didnt much like him as Shah Rukh to begin with). He's doing well. He's very likeable. And funny. The B wasnt funny. He is. I like.

Missed an exam because of the bandh. Of course it'll be later. Just thought Id mention why Im here on a Tuesday at 3:00...
oh my GOD!
Its 5?????
Where the hell did all the time go???

Oshsays II

Well, I consulted a few experts. (alright, alright, they were just Snum and Zz)
And we came up with other possible ideas for a name for things that Osh says.
Even Osh, in her excitement, came up with a few:
1. Oshisms (Snum)
2. Oshisasisms (becasue we got confused)
3. Oshisamasisms (Osh wrote that one down)

I've decided to stick with snum's.
Because it sounds the most sane, and we want to give that illusion to people.
Then they can just be even more shocked at the entire insanity of them all.
So Oshisms it is.