Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Oshsays IV- Media seminar

Today we had a media seminar.
Yesterday also.
9 to4.
Print, Radio, TV, Film.

Do I sound dead?
Yes, well thats because I almost did die, of boredom despite all the efforts the third years took. I'm sorry, but seminars will be boring, no matter who conducts them.
Thank god for Osh and her Says.

Today was Valentines Day. I dont know why everyone was making such a big deal of it. I've never paid much attention to it.

Did you know that if you wear pink today, it means that you are accepting proposals, and if you wear black it means you're rejecting them?
Silly really. Depends on who proposes, doesnt it? What if someone you really dont like asks you out, and you happen to be wearing pink, because you thought the guy you did like was going to ask you? Puts you in a rather sticky situation, doesnt it, if you follow that logic?
Personally I think all this proposing business is particularly dumb not to mention awkward and embarrassing. But its what the world does, so whatever.

Anyway, Osho was telling us this useful nugget of information, just as I was thinking what I lovely shade of pink her salwar was.

I voiced my thoughts.
She gave me a glare.
No, she said, it was lavendar.
Snum and I exchanged an evil glance.

Ha! Osho was getting hysterical about a small thing again. (She does this from time to time.) What fun it would be to pull her leg a little!

"No, Osh." said Snum in her best I-know-what-I'm-talking-about voice. "That shade is very definitely a pink. Very pretty it is though."

Osh gave her a glare.
"Lavender. Its lavender. How can lavender be pink."

Snum continued "No, thats really pink Osh, lavender you know, is a light purple shade, see?"
And then came our first Oshsay:

Said very quickly and in a pissed off tone:
"Lavender, let me tell you, falls under the violet category. You know, crimson? If you mix crimson and navy blue, when you mix the two, thats when you get this particular shade called as lavender, okay?"

We laughed a bit at her, and then, since we were dead bored, the discussion led to music. Osh was doing pretty well actually. She was making sense and everything.

Unfortunately she went on to pronounce two majorly famous artistes' names completely wrong.
a. Christina Aguilera.
The Oshsay was: "Christiana Aguilera."
Her arguement was that in an autograph of hers that Osh has, Christina's spelt her name like that.
Snum and I told her that Christina must have just not cared about the spelling of her name enough to stall herself in her desperate rush to get the hell away from Osho, and this comment unfortunately, did not go down too well with dear Osh.

b. Enrique Iglesias.
The Oshsay was: "Enrique Igarius."
And no amount of screaming would change her mind.

In her anger, she said "You people need to get your ears waxed!"
At least we thought she said that.
Apparently, she'd said "You people need to get your ear wax removed."

As we were laughing about that one, she screamed "You twits! Whats wrong with you? Do you remember one end of the sentence and the other end and forget everything in between???"

Snum and I were too deep in hysterics to stop there, so I got out a sheet of paper to write down all the Oshsays we were getting and sat poised as if to take notes.
This angered Osho. She grabbed at the sheet of paper. Deftly, I snatched it out of reach. She caught hold of my kurta by mistake instead, and said "Madhu, if you dont give that sheet to me, Im going to rip your clothes off!"
...and was highly embarrassed after.

After Snum and I had laughed and told her to "Control yourself Osho! For pity's sake!" enough number of times, she settled down to complain about her existance in the kitchen blog.

First she said, in an angry voice "What will my children think?"
I ferociously scribbled into the paper while Snum laughed at Osho's indignance.

"You're making me a public property!"
Scribble scribble. Giggle giggle.

"You're barging into my privacy!"
Scribble scribble. Giggle giggle.

And she ended with a vehement
"I will take you to court!"

Despite her occassional Oshsays though, Osh is really smart. Very clever kid. And she is very very sweet. :-)

Special Note: The number of Oshsays heard by Snum today, I'm sorry to say has had a rather bad influence on her own speaking abilities.
The first recorded Snumsay was made today: "What feelingless people!" she said shaking her fists at the speakers who WOULD JUST NOT STOP.
Silly Snum. :-)