Friday Night. Tough week.
I'm in one of my stare-at-the-computer-screen-dreaming moods. I'm wondering what my next move should be.
Should I get up? (Nah, too much effort.)
Check my mail, since I'm sitting here anyway? (Nah... did that, like, 5 minutes ago.)
Start on all my pending projects? (Am I crazy? I never do that.)
Go eat dinner? (nah, there's all those stairs o climb down...)
Stop thinking and just sit here? (Yeah. That seems like a good idea.)
So I settle myself down, to do just that, when the phone screen lights up.
Ordinarily, this would please me greatly, but under such circumstances as these, when I had such an important evening planned, just as I'm about to embark on a journey and all that crap, I had to sigh at this unwelcome distraction.
I break my eye contact with the screen, (its not too happy with the change in arrangements, I can tell you that), and with a heavy sigh, I lift up the phone.
Its a message from Zz. I should have known.
It reads simply, thus:
Do you believe in heaven
Re focus my eyes and blink again.
Yup, thats what it says. Strange message to be sending on a Friday night. Hell, ever.
Just for kicks, I decide to reply. I reply to all of Zz's messages.
Me: Yes. I'll bet my hat there's something better after this.
Zz: What hat?
Me: Never mind. Do you?
Me: believe in heaven?
Zz: Oh that. Yup. We don't go when we die... but one day we will.
Me: So what happens in between?
Zz: We sleep. Its in the Bible, if anyone cares to read carefully enough.
Me: How long for?
Zz: Thats not given. We have to wait and see. But if you believe, you know you're going to heaven one day.
Me: And what's heaven like apparently?
Zz: Everybody's heaven is different. I read this book called "My Dream of Heaven". This lady actually dreamed she went to heaven and there were houses constructed for her, and one nearby for her family. Everything was perfect. The way she wanted it.
Me: Any idea what your heaven would be like?
Zz: My heaven will have animals and vegetarians and sunsets all day
and milk and honey and worship and stars
and it'll be just perfect
no dirt, no hurt or tears.
or maybe some tears
and babies and no growing up
no computers though
no shops no money
clothes maybe, white gowns that fit perfectly
and ya, angels
snow and photographs
Oh this is the best message ive written ever
gotta save it.
you tell me about your better place.
Me: wow. That was LONG.
Sounds like a great place.
You know what I always pictured that'd happen after you die?
A whole replay...going back and watching your life,
watching stuff you missed because you couldnt be in two places at the same time,
seeing what you could have done better
enjoying the great times you had again
watching yourself grow into who you'd finally become
watching the world change.
I suppose I'd like my heaven to be a happy place where there's no sadness and pain and anger, only acceptance
where its always sunny, and there's blue skies and white clouds that you can look at for however long you want without people thinking you're off your rocker,
and where you have this tv in your room which is YOUR LIFE, and you can view it at your pleasure or not at all (that would be the whole replay part).
Oh and there'd be high grass covered hills and flying and ice cream and books.
Zz: Haha. Well that was... enlightening.
Me: I'll say.
Zz: What were you doing?
Me: Before this?
Me: Just staring.
Zz: Damn, did I disturb you?
Me: How you read my mind.
Zz: Its okay. This was productive wasn't it?
Me: Huh? It would be I guess, if we did a research paper on it.
Zz: That, my child, is a brilliant idea. I bag it.
Me: No way you freak! Its mine!
The arguement continued through sms, college and and lunching. I let her take it in the end. Despite Snum's vehement protests, the sweet thing.