Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Mad Squirrel

Did I ever mention the mad squirrel I once encountered?
Well, I was sprawled out on the sofa in the living room one particularly drowsy afternoon, and the curtains were drawn. No one was home and I was just about to fall into a nice little slumber,when I heard a rapping sound. I sat up. The noise would not stop and it was beginning to bother me.

It was a constant, unrelenting loud tapping noise. It seemed to come from somewhere behind the curtains.

Cautiously, I pull them back. And on the other side of the glass, I am faced with a squirrel, who is, staring back at me.

The staring doesnt seem to affect his paw movement though. He can stare and knock at the glass at the same time. A multi talented squirrel.

I know your reaction is "Awww! How cute! Did you take a picture? The darling little thing! How absolutely adorable!"
But no. No. Not this squirrel. Definitely not.

This squirrel had a mad glint in its eyes. That, accompanied by the unnerving staring and simultaneous tapping, totally freaked me out.

Any normal, sane squirrel would have fled at the first movement of the curtains. Not this squirrel. This squirrel wanted to get in.

What for? If it was raining, I'd've understood. I'd've gladly let it in and provided it refreshments and shelter until the rain subsided. But it was a perfectly sunny day. Who knows what ulterior motives this weird squirrel had. I wasnt going to let it in and steal all the electronic goods. Or allow it to murder me or something.
(Really. It looked vicious.)

Helpless and not knowing what to do, I phoned my mum to ask her advice. At least they'd have some idea what happened if they got home and found me gagged and unconscious on the sofa.

"Mum, there's this squirrel, and he's staring at me and I think he's mad!" I blurt out as soon as she picks up.
"What? What's that? A squirrel?" annoyed voice "I'm in a meeting, Madhu. Just scare it away. I'm sure you're capable of scaring a squirrel away."
"No!" I try to explain "But this one's a mad squi..."
Engaged tone

So much for that. Well they'd be sorry when they'd find later how the squirrel managed to bore through the glass with those razor like teeth of his and get at me.
Muttering a little, I pick up a newspaper and chuck it at the squirrel. A sane squirrel would've run for it. Blinked even. Not this one.
I try and scare it with sudden movements. The neighbours must have thought I was performing some kind of weird dance ritual.
I tap back at it through the window.
Believe me, any other squirrel'd have been dead with fright.
Not this one.
The newspaper and dancing only angered it further and it began squeaking.

I decided to ignore it. Switched the TV on, tried to find something on National Geographic about how squirrels are easy prey for owls or something. Thought I'd try and scare its wits out.

It left, finally. Got bored I think, since I was no longer acting hysterically.
Good riddance, the mad little thing.
Coming and frightening me out of my sleep. Who does it think it is?


La said...

hahahah! :D
It's funny! it's still funny! Silly squirrel!

MM said...

Silly mad squirrel.
Thank the lord it didnt through the kitchen window. Who knows what it'd have done with all those knives at it's disposal.

SaIk said...

ha ha ... poor little mad squirrel .. it just couldnt understand that existed weirder creatures around ... nice wit and an ossom post !!

vaccinatedtarantula-II said...

i kinda like this squirrel,i think he and i would hve been great pals if you hadnt bored him away like a MONGOOSE :) :P

PS said...

Was it frothing at the mouth as well? It might have had Rabies, you know. :)

MM said...

@Saik: Thanks a bunch! :D I admit, I do tend to act frighteningly weird sometimes. :)

@tarantula: I shall give him your address and phone number if ever we meet again. You would make great companions. :D

@PS: He wasnt frothing at the mouth. And he looked quite hale and hearty. I think we can safely rule out rabies. :)

the Monk said...

Eh. There's one cooped up in our bathroom now. Maybe we should send out an all-points bulletin or something on this one.

PS said...

Frighteningly weird or weirdly frightened? :P

And is it right to call the squirrel as an 'it'? :)

MM said...

@The Monk: Hahaha, Yes, yes. Perhaps we should. :)

@PS: :P Clever.
As you may have noticed, I have referred to the lunatic arboreal creature as 'he' in some places and 'it' in others, depending upon what sounded best. Is that what you're getting at?
To answer your question though, yes, its perfectly alright. Why shouldnt it be?

Jacob said...

maybe you should check out the squirrel's blog and see wat he's written about a silly girl chucking newspapers at him and dancing like a lunatic.....