Monday, September 3, 2007

A Snum Story: Snum and her Bronze Chappals

She wont stop wearing them. She just wont.
Agreed, they were once good looking. But now... now they look very aged.
You can see the shape of her foot imprinted in the soles.
The pretty little bronze squares have fallen off the entire length of the left strap of her right shoe. And the entire length of the right strap of her left shoe. "They're symmentrical!" is Snum's arguement when I point this out to her.
And she continues to wear them despite the fact that her sister is in town, and if she were a little enterprising, she could whack a nice new pair off her.

To add to all of this, the shoe keeps breaking. (Yes, breaking. And she wears them still)
In the most awkward of moments, I will hear her distinctive
"Uh oh"
and will turn around to see one of the shoes in two pieces.

The first time it happened was at the main gate. We were both late for class (Had we gone out for lunch Snum? I think that was it. We arent usually late to college at the same time) ...and it was Borat's class.

So she was all like "Uh oh" and I just stopped in my tracks (almost fell over, gave quite a few people a good laugh) and turned around.
There was the chappal, in two pieces. The left chappal, to be precise.
The top portion of the shoe had almost entirely separated itself from the bottom.

"Whaddawe pant donow?" I asked.
Snum tried shuffling along like that, but it didnt work.
"Ok, I'll just take em off and walk barefoot."

I gaped at her. She doesnt usually come up with effective solutions that quickly. It usually takes her a couple of hours to come up with a suitable solution.

So I was gaping.
She read my expression correctly.

"No tsk. I've done this before. This isnt the first time its happened."
She walked off comfortably, leaving me gaping.

By the time I caught up with her, I'd regained myself and decided I'd try and embarrass her out of wearing these shoes ever again. After I'd tried unsuccessfully to grab the attention of every passer by and draw them towards the shoes in Snum's hand, (Nobody was interested, it was so depressing) I decided I'd help with solving the problem instead of aggravating it further.
"We'll buy super glue from stationary shop uncle... it'll give us something to do in Borat's class."
Snum agreed with the plan and we went up the stairs, Snum squealing every few seconds at how cold the floor was being, horrid thing.

We bought 30 buck glue. And uncle, noticing we were in a bit of a plight gave us free cookies (mmm).
"Ok, you take ma! Free cooky. Take take Ish ok. See this one imported marshmellows. Very good ma. 2 bucks only. See this one lollypop-cum-torch. Imported. Very good. Neksh time you buy ma. Ok bye."

We got upstairs to class and walked in looking repentent. Borat gave us a look and contnued with the attendance. Even he didnt notice the shoes in Snum's hands.

We sat down with Osh and began the process of repair. It took a while because Snum and I were squabbling over the glue.
She opened it, and everything spurted out. In her hair, on my beautful bag, on the bench. Everywhere but on her shoe.

And then Borat, who has finished attendance and doesnt really know what else to do, comes around our bench peeping inquisitively.
"Hay, Whas going gon there?"
"No sir, her shoe broke" I muttered, feebly waving the glue in front of him.
He shook his mustache a little, but said nothing.
(Actually he's become kind of sweet these days. Poor thing I feel sorry for him. All My Sons he did pretty well actually. Yes, yes. I definitely like him now.)

I tried wiping the super glue off my bag but its left a permanent mark. I dont know what happened to Snums hair. I couldnt really be bothered. But she was complaining and cursing a lot, I remember that.
Anyway, the shoes were fixed. For now.

Coupla days later, we're slightly late for Borat's class again. We're racing up the stairs and then there's that tell tale
"Uh oh"

We detoured to the stationery shop. Snum bought the thirty rupee glue again (overflowing her wallet is) and noticing I had a cold, uncle gave me a free pack of tissues. "Here take ma. Free tissue."
That uncle. He has the good wishes of countless students. Good karma's coming at him.

Back to class. Snum's like, between snorts of laughter "Why does this always happen in Borat's hour? He must think we're doing it on purpose."

She spoke too soon. Next it happened was when she was off to Brigades to buy Osho's gift.
"Dang them shoes!" she cursed as she shuffled off to the stationery store.

And yet she was wearing them again yesterday. What will it take to get her to learn, I dont know. At least five times they've broken and been re fixed, each time requiring a 30 rupee super glue packet.
That girl is really daft in the head. Its not like she hasnt GOT other shoes. She just wants to wear these difficult ones. She is a strange little munchkin, very strange. Perhaps one day we will understand her. Perhaps.


La said...

hahaha! Goose, why, how are you so funny?!

oo oo! write a besteststory. :D

PS said...

I took this long to comment as I was on the floor too much. Laughing. :)

And you seem to have an exceptionally nice shopkeeper 'uncle'.

La said...

Write more goose.

MM said...

A Besteststory! Hee hee! Oh goose, there are so many! It'd be so hard to pick one :D
I could write a whole diary of them!
We HAVE to note down Amoeba stories soon though. Lets do that this weekend pakka. Ok goose?

MM said...

@PS: Thanks! :)
He IS exceptionally nice. Apparently he swindles you to make up for it. Charges you extra on other things. So say my friends. I myself have had no such experiences.

La said...

The amoeba stories! god I've forgotten then all! we should have written them down as we made them up goose!

vaccinatedtarantula-II said...


You havent been posting for awhile... we are waiting.. ALL OF US.WRITE SOMETHING!!!

Lalitha said...

ok im bored of the story of the broken bronze sandals. as a faithful reader i demand a new story! right now! this instant! well????? where is it!!!!!!!

MM said...

@Lalitha: Yes, I too have had enough of the bronze chappals. This blog is in dire need of a new post. Dire need.
One new post, coming up! :)

@VT 2:'re hilarious. My stomach's paining from all that laughing. Your blog! Hahahahahaha. Seriously, you should have been a comedian!