Dads and Shopping Dont Mix

Shopping is really a girl thing. It must have something to do with the whole chromosomal set up. Yes, thats what it is. The gene responsible for enjoying shopping is recessive and is located on the X chromosome. And the allele must be in homozygous condition for the character to manifest itself.

Really. Like, I didnt just make that up.
Its a fact of nature.

Okay, so maybe its not a fact, but for all we know, it could be true. I could win the Nobel prize for this.

The Nobel prize for Bulling. (Its a new category they've introduced, dont you read the papers?)

But that explanation would account for a lot of things. Including why dads shouldnt be taken along while shopping. (Their wallets, however, are welcome)

What the dears say:
1. Do you really need that?
2. Dont you have 15 pairs of the same thing lying on the floor back home?
3. Why do you want to go all the way to the other side of the world to buy something you can get ten minutes away from home?
4. How can you spend so much time looking, and then finally not want to buy anything?
5. Are you done yet? pause Done? pause Now?
6. In moments of inspiration:
No! Dont buy this one! Buy that! pointing to garishly orange coloured item

What they do:
1. Make wild excuses as to why we should be leaving right NOW!
2. Feign stomach-leg -head- back aches.
3. In the words of Snum: Become human clocks.
In robotic tones: "It has been fifteen minutes since we first set foot in this store."
.
.

"Twenty."
4. In the life of Brat: Stand as close to the door as possible in the hope that this will urge you to step out quicker and go to the next shop, thereby considerably shortening the process.
On entering the next store, stand as near to the door as possible, once again ensuring a quick exit.

If you don’t take them along, but excitedly show them your purchases after, they:
1. Gaze at the TV and pretend to listen
2. Yawn indifferently
3. Raise eyebrows high, sit forward and say, “How much now?”
4. Say: "You spent a whole day and this is all you have to show for it?"
5. Say: "Tchha. That? I could’ve gotten that for half the price."

See dads are just not too good at the whole shopping experience. And nobody’s blaming them. Its in their DNA. They should leave shopping to the mums and daughters. Hand them a couple of credit cards and send them off into the world.

Oh, the wonderful joys of small-dosage shopping. Sigh. :)