A Lil' Bitta Nonsense Poetry by MM :)

I wrote for College poetry competition Darpan 08. It won first. Yay! :)
Topic was "Save us from..." Sounds better if you read it aloud.
First verse is a bit iffy, but it gets better. :)
Here eet ees:

"Save us from controlling parents!
Bring on the anti depressants!"
Scream young adults from all around
It was for them, this story was found:

Once upon a moonlit rock
Giselle exclaimed with utter shock
“I haven’t seen quite half the world!”
Around her face her curls all twirled.

For Giselle she was a mermaid true
Her fins were of the greenest blue.
She dove and swam to seabed sands
Whilst dreaming of the upper lands.

Last birthday was her eighteenth year
She felt it’d all been such a blur-
Her life- with not an ounce of meaning
She felt like running, stamping, screaming.

Her heart it felt a longing so
To venture, scurry forth and go
Where none of her kind had gone before-
She’d be the first, the world to explore!

“The Little mermaid was all just fiction!”
She screamed out with convincing diction
The only one who heard her out
Was her pet Oyster Pearldipout.

“Why Pearlipoo? Why am I stuck here?
All I want’s to be slightly luckier-
Have a chance to see the world!
Is that too much to ask dear Pearl?”

Pearl the Oyster kept clamped shut,
Which is what oysters do a lot.
Giselle she did not mind the quiet-
She kicked up a bigger, frenzied riot.

Her father Myt was quite annoyed
For however much he tried
Futile was it to make her see
That she MUST dwell under the sea.

“Do you realize you cannot breathe above water?
How would you live there my dear daughter?
And what about your fins, my treat?
On land you must commute with feet.”

“Oh Papa, I’m not that naïve!
What about Cousins Amy and Steve?
Don’t tell me you didn’t cast that spell
To help them live on land as well!”

“But my darling, you were brought up here
Do you want mama to shed a tear?
Do you my dear, precious child?
About you turning completely wild?”

“I don’t care about all that.
All I want is a little cat
And shoes and bags and earrings too
Like earth girls have. And I want a tattoo.”

Pearl the Oyster kept quite silent
It’s true his body was quite pliant
But Pearl himself was really not,
And he thought all this a load of rot.

Myt had become quite furious
“For granted are you taking us!
Ungrateful girl, demeaning lass.
I’ll whip you squarely on the bottom.”

“Oh father, don’t be so uptight!
Listen to my teenage plight
I’m young! I want to see the world!
I’m not a helpless little girl!”

“But you are my dear child!
A baby, and that is putting it mild!
Why, over your clothes today I tripped!
They were on the floor! My tooth was chipped!”

“Tsk tsk Papa, that’s what we do,
Us teenagers. Our clothes we strew.
Across the floor. Though it is uncouth,
It is quite the cardinal truth of youth.”

“But how are you going to look after yourself?
And how will you know what to do with a shelf,
Having used the floor to house your clothes?
Why, I doubt you can tell your mouth from your nose.”

“Father, despite how it might seem
I am perfectly capable of being clean,
And adult-like. Now, this isn’t deceit-
I CAN and DO in fact, brush my own teeth.”

Pearl the Oyster kept closed his mouth
That is what he did best no doubt
Among all oysters he was considered sublime
And he considered all this a waste of his time

Myt ignored her sarcastic remark
And decided that he would instead embark
Upon the issue of sleeping too late
“What have you to say about that, sugarplate?”

“Daddy, expect me to act my age!
Staying up late is the latest rage
You mustn’t expect that I live by your rules
I will act eighteen now, not seventy two!”

Now this was far too much to bear
Twas all he could do to sit and stare
At the little monster he had raised
Who was now returning his angry gaze.

Now all of this was just too unfair
This entire meal’d been a sordid affair
Why was dad so blooming tiresome?
If only he’d understand- it’d be awesome!

Pearl the Oyster stared at the ketchup
He’d dearly have loved to be in far off Europe,
On some rich man’s dinner plate:
Rather than witness this excruciating debate.

“But don’t you want to stay at home?
Haven’t we given you more than Rome?
Why do you feel this need to leave?
Forgive me for being so very naïve!”

“Oh papa, think back to the time
When you were my age, did you not pine?
For adventure, romance, excitement and love?
This is what you would cheat me out of?”

Myt thought back to the prime of his days
Of his fast paced life and his escapades
The point she had made, made sense he recalled
She was his daughter after all.

Perhaps it was time to let her go
To let her leap, fly over the rainbow
Break free, escape and all the jazz
Let her regain his old pizzazz.

The bird was flying from their nest
Ah, finally he’d get some well earned rest
He and Martha’d holiday!
In the Coral Sea, the Bengal Bay!

Giselle was mighty thrilled and pleased
Her angsty teenage mind was eased
She’d climb the highest mountain! But
Before, she must really go get that new haircut.

Pearl the Oyster said not a word
Bottling it up was much preferred.
A chip off the old block, that was Giselle.
Well, the pair of them could go to hell.

Revival Post/ Blog Tag Game 2

This blog has for quite sometime been as dead as Snum in a third year OE class, and that's really saying something. So I've decided that today I must shake it out of its drugged slumber, by means of this revival post.

Overwhelmed by the number of things I have failed to document this past month and faced with a paralysing inability to pick which of these things to blog about, I have decided to complete a blog game that Snum (very ineptly) tagged me in last century.

I'm not particularly interested in this, but just thinking about the multitude of other things I have to blog about exhausts me so much I want to slide off the chair and go to sleep on the floor. So this is it. The revival post: Blog tag game 2. As I've been saying to myself a lot these days "Small steps MM, small steps."

Yo bebeh.

Blog Tag Game 2

3 JOYS
1. The sunshine on my back on a cold winter's morning. CHEESY. But it feels really good, really.
2. A biting cold wind against my cheek when Im in an auto on a cold day. Reminds me of my childhood playground days in England.
3. Finishing something, completing a task, doing it well.


3 FEARS
I used to think I was fearless. I feel fearless. Most of the time. It's a good feeling.
1. But I no like make
2. my few real fears
3. public, thankyouverymuch


3 GOALS
(Man this is boring)
1. To obtain for myself a PhD (thats, Dr. MM, to you)
2. To swim with dolphins, bungee jump, skydive
3. To see as much of the world as possible


3 CURRENT OBSESSIONS/ COLLECTIONS
Im currently not obsessed with anything really. Hmm.
Used to be with:
1. SteandKel on Youtube. I've discovered Fred (through Snum, I must give her credit or she'll come at me with a pitchfork)... he's funny once you get used to him. Very cute.
2. The Harry Potter books. Obsessed is an understatement. I think we all were at one point.
3. The Sound of Music. That movie means a lot to me. Also some TV shows: Ed, 8 Simple Rules. TV doesnt interest me as much these days.


3 RANDOM SURPRISING FACTS
(Random AND surprising. Thats asking a bit much innit?)
1. I absolutely adore anything sweet with cinnamon in it. (How surprising! I hear you say)
2. I love big butts and I cannot lie. (I jest)
3. I dont usually tell anyone this, but I detest alcohol. Presently at least. Yup. Its true. I cannot consume it without gagging. Tastes like garbage, corrodes the digestive tract and what's more, has absolutely NO EFFECT on me whatsoever, however much of it I force down. Sigh. How I have been deprived of the pleasures of life. (That'll be one Margarita mocktail please.)

And thats it. I tag Nishant, Pavan, Taru, Lalitha and La, NONE of whom will complete the task, I am pretty sure. But fly forth my children, do fly forth. :)

May Update

Bits written hurriedly over May. ____________________________________________________________________

There were so many times I remember Osh saying to me this month amidst much laughter... "Man, that's something that we HAVE to put on our blogs."
But none can I remember.
Was it about the Sharudog at Javacity?
Was it about what a pain Circle was being yet again?
Was it about going to the hospital for your arm, munch?
Was it about the waiter at Lazio?
So much more, I remember there was! I cant remember what. :|
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Ok the modelling thing. Im so tired of telling the story, I cannot tell you. Bottom line is, I went to an ad shoot as an intern to see how the whole thing goes, but ended up being shot for a bill board poster for Bosch Car Service. Photographer said I had a "very fresh face" (I wonder if he knows what he's talking about.)
It was a nice experience, the make up and limelight in the studio and the sound of the camera clicking. Nice feeling. And everyone was supremely sweet.
Actress Sanjana was also shot, and the clients will choose which they like better. I hope to God they dont pick mine, I dont think I want my face splashed around Bangalore, although since I've already signed the model release papers I dont think i have much of a say in it now. :|
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Shopping shopping... Oh how I lurves the shopping. Yay! *does happy dance*
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The weekend before last was supposed to be spent elsewhere, but that didnt happen. So instead we spent it at the Dungeon. I have grown used to the Dungeon. It has become a sort of second home for me and Snum. Osh of course, lives there permanently. Snum and Osh are fun people to have around when you're in a dungeon. :)
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Cant sleep? Watch Chapter 27. Worked on Osh and Snum like a charm.
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Osh lent me She's the Man with Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum (said in annoying high pitched voice) which I thoroughly enjoyed. Snum and Osh have been going on and on about this guy for the past month or so and until I watched the movie I was under the impression that they were cooing about a 'Shining Tater'. :| Naturally I just ignored them.
But now I know what all the fuss is about. *sigh*
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This has been a month of those anonymous calls and messages. Today someone called and spoke to me in kannada.
The dude is like in a professional voice and all: Hello. Yes, its me. You wrote your number on my hand in the bus yesterday? *waits for me to continue*
You'll excuse me for being confused, I woke up to the call and was still a bit morning dazed. So I spent a moment trying to remember if I had in fact been on a bus yesterday and written my number on someone's hand. When my brain confirmed that I most certainly hadnt, I realised this guy was a bit of a goof and hung up.

And dont you hate the anonymous messages? They really irk the living daylights out of me. And I've been getting a surplus of those anonymous messages lately for some reason.

Anon: hiiiiiiii!

Me: Hi. Im sorry, dont have your number stored

Anon: Ay.... GESSSSSS huuuu????

Me: I told you, I dont know. Tell me, I'll store your number.

And even 20 messages later-

Anon: No no Uuu GESSSS

At least if they were intelligent or worded well they'd be bearable. But no. Half the time it's some crazy freak, and the other half its one of your annoying friends playing a trick on you. I'd ignore or be rude back to them, if only I weren't afraid that it might be some acquaintance that I'll totally offend. But all I want to say is blah. I dont care. You're a waste of my effing currency.
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I was taking to Taru the other day about how I havent gotten over death yet, but all these med students have. They've gotten accustomed to it. Desensitised. Speak of it in a fairly cavalier manner. I cant. Read his post Mountains in the Clouds.

Taru can also talk of bowel movements with friends without cringing. He's on the path to becoming one helluva great doctor. :)
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And also, I finally SAID what I needed to say.
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Blog Tag Game 1

We've been talking of Blog Tag games a lot lately. The conversation goes:

MM: Ay, you know what we should do, since we have so much time to kill at the office?
Snum Osh: What? What?
MM: We should do those blog tag games!
Snum Osh: What? What?
MM: Like I'll write a post on- 10 things I'd rather be doing now. Or A List of Places I have to see before I die or something preferably more interesting. And then i tag you... and you have to do the same post and tag people and we'll put them up on our blogs so they wont be dead and we wont be dead at the office either.
Snum Osh: Hey awesome! Yeah! Yeah! Cool! Definitely! Yay!

We've had this conversation 17 times.
Nothing's happened.

Until a coupla days ago, Nishant tells me I've been tagged from his post. Woot. So I dont have to come up with anything, he's started it all for us. Here goes.

Blog Tag game 1:

Last movie seen in a theatre:
Death at a Funeral Friday night with the munches and Jay. British comedy. Funny. The thought of Uncle Alfie will forever give me the jitters.

What book are you reading?
Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri

Favourite board game:
Cluedo! Many fun hours spent playing that.
“I’m Miss Scarlet!” (The others looked too ugly on the cards.)

Favourite magazine:
Old Readers' Digests. They don’t make ‘em like they used to.

Favourite smells:
Old books. NEW FABRIC. Mangos. Peaches. Lots of others.

Favourite sound;
Mum’s old bangles clinking together.

Worst feeling in the world:
Rejection. Disappointment.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
This song plays in my head: “Get out of bed coz there’s loads to be done” It’s from a children's programme I used to watch a loooong time ago. Bit annoying actually.

Favourite fast food place:
McDonalds... where GS and I have our heart to hearts! They have a better veggie spread than most. I haven’t been able to stomach non veg despite several attempts. (I can hear my Iyengari aunties gasping at the idea. "Aiyayooo mamso saaptirka MM!")

Future child’s name:
Yes, I’ve thought that far.

Finish this statement, “If I had a lot of money I’d…”
Shop. Then dance around in an ecstatic trance.

Do you drive fast?
I don't like this question and will refrain from answering.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
If I’m at Osh’s.

Storms - Cool or Scary?
Cool. The lightening was amazing the other day was it not Snum? Turned the sky purple.

Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
I love broccoli. Yes I eat the stems. So sue me.

If you could dye your hair any colour, what would be your choice?
I’d keep it black, thanks.

Name all the different cities/towns you have lived in:
London and Bangalore.

Favourite sports to watch:
Blah. If I HAVE to, then cricket.

One nice thing about the person who sent this to you:
Interesting personality, Nishant :) Admire how he’s so passionate about what he does and gave up a high paying job to do what he really enjoys.

What’s under your bed?
The bogeyman.
He says hi.

Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Boring no? Same things’d happen.

Morning person or night owl?
DEFINITELY night owl.

Over easy or sunny side up?
Eggs make me queasy.

Favourite place to relax:
Home. Homes of friends. I like Snum’s room for some reason.

Favourite pie:
Apple.

Favourite ice cream flavour:
Depends on the mood, but for a while it’s been peanut butter. Earlier it was pista. And I like vanilla, but only if it’s a round scoop served in a silver goblet thing.

You pass this tag to –
PS, Bestest, Osh, Snum, Taru.

Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
Bestest is busy with internals. Taru's in hibernation from internet. Snum Pavan Osh. Im gonna say… Osh, cause she seemed excited when I told her about this. Don’t fail me munch!

Ok so what you guys have to do is copy this tag game, paste, link the person who tagged you (me!) and choose five more people to tag and link them.
Go on, its not that difficult! You can do it! Fly forth my children! Fly forth!

21.05.08
Alright, so everyone's finally finished the blog tag thing. Yay!
Here are the links to their posts.
PS's
Taru's
Bestest's (with Lalitha's)
Snum's
Osh's

April Update

Ok, a lot's been happening. Jam packed. One thing after another. Plus with work everyday I hardly have time to rest and shut my poor tired eyes.
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About the Internship aka Thirty days of Torture. I'm halfway through it now and things are good. I'm enjoying it. I was extremely frustrated the first coupla days since I had NOTHING to do whatsoever. I swear I contemplated running through the office naked in protest.
But lately I've been given some stuff to work on. Our clients are HP, Infosys, Bosch and Reliance, and I finally feel productive and like I'm getting a sense of the field.
I love my little cubicle and feel like I'm settling down. I LOVE the kind of work I'm given, its just what I imagined I'd be doing when I was younger. I love all the wacky characters at the office. I love how The Other MM is just two cubicles behind me and how we're at each other's cubicles half the time talking. I love that I got an idea of what the Client Servicing job entails and know that I so prefer Creative to that.
It's good, it's all good. A proper summary will be put up later.
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FnA's Day was on 30th. Just me this year. She'd a fabulous day, just as she deserves, while I was at work, and then I met her in the evening and we had one of our crazy stay overs. Laughed like hyenas. Fought like kilkerney cats. Got hysterical over nothing. Fun times. Times we'll remember. :)
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Zz's day on 12th. That was during the exams. Fun. Snum was in her element. Read Snum's blog.
Much laughter and craziness. And yum cake and icecream- thanks Zz.
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I'm SICK of the Brigade road area. I have been rotting there for half this month it feels like.
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Osh asked me to blog about our escapade at the RTO... RTO? What 's the place called? Where you book train tickets? Yes well that was a fun thing to do after work. It was late. We were exhausted. There were a gazillion rows of chairs, and these chairs are the line to the counters. So every five minutes, everyone gets up and shuffles along the row till the person in front of them stops, and then just plonks down on the chair they're in front of.
Oh but dont plonk too hard though, some chairs just fall over backwards if you lean on the backrest. I had to grab Osh's arm to save her from slip discs on two occasions.
And all this while your ankles are being feasted upon by throngs of mosquitos. I thought I was going to die from some kind of allergic reaction, I had so many bites, I kid you not. My feet were well and truly eaten.
Not a nice ordeal to go through, that.
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Those mosquito killer bats . Discovered them this month. Fascinating. I annoyed both Snum and FnA quite a bit with my obsession for mosquito hunting when I was supposed to be focusing on them. :D
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The smell of mangoes again. Brings back memories and thoughts. Pleasant, exciting.
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Im sure Im missing out loads of stuff. Done quite a few crazy things this month. Hehe. :) But all that dont get spoken of here at the blog. Shhhh.
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I'm 20

Its true. I turned a non teenager on the 16th of April. What made my birthday this year special: (Warning: Mushy post ahead.)

Osh calling five minutes before midnight to be the first to wish me.

Snum the second. She was also the last. :)

Taru calling and playing me a three minute birthday song as soon as I picked up. :) hehehe

The gazillion calls and messages. Thanks everyone. :) :)

All the money I got from my aunts. Yeah baby! And the other gifts they gave me... sweethearts. :)

Birthday lunch and silly fun with classmates.

The Only Place. Ghost Stories. The Hand. Ebony sofas.
Taika. No Effect. Iranian Black Jacket Twin. Awkward dancing jack lookalike. Even "The party's over here..." :D

Getting lost. Knocking on doors. Talking. Making beds.

20 Feet High. Pleasant banter. Reliving old times with people I share such a strong bond with. :) Springy stepped, the Champ, FnA. :) :)

FnA and myself. Our crazy fun. Our night out. :D Our ghost pictures. Our talk about all things trivial. Our talk about all things serious. Staying up till 2.30am. I keep saying this, but words just don't do it. :)

Meeting Bestest. Being silly with Bestest. Having Bestest take uninteresting videos of me in public. Getting asked for an autograph in Gandi Bazaar when with Bestest (?? :D)

And of course my awesome gifts that made me cry. (sob!) They were so thoughtful! Brightened my day! Loved them. So much that I had to take photos of them, strange person that I am. I love you guys. :) Muahs to you all.

Bestest's: Turtle earrings (because I lost one of my old pair), wooden necklace, beautiful hand made bag, the colour xerox of the memory, the lovely lovely letter and the Goose Pillow. :) Hugs and hugs! Loved it all! Muah!


Osh's! The lovely kurta:And that little tin dabba encased a :) Beethoven

and the card I so LOVED! Thanks Munch! Muah!! :) :)Jay's. That he fretted over unnecessarily. Loved the deer card, and the beautiful shawl. :) Perfect colour, perfect everything. Thank yous jay. Muah! :) :)Snum's! LOVED it. The wallet with her photo in it, the confetti and everything. :)The card made me laugh! hahaha!And the beautiful personalised wrapping paper! Thanks ma Munch! Muah!! :) :)


And now that i have gushed enough, I take leave of you. Goodbye.

*end of mushy post*

I Cant Sleep

Well, here I am. Its three frickin fifteen AM and I cant sleep. Wonderful situation to be in, you agree?

But why you ask, this wakefulness? Oh, a combination of factors really. Cant place my finger on what exactly.

It might be the sweltering heat that has descended upon the city.
It might be because Im hungry, because I skipped dinner, because its summer and thats when I lose the will to ingest food (Catch me being that way any other time of year.)
It might be that goshdarned mosquito that cant take its goddamn proboscis off me.
It might be because Im angry and am swearing too much.

OR
it could be because I got up at noon today.
Bloody study holidays. I swear I havent witnessed the morning for three days.

My mum has taken to cutting articles from newspapers and reading them out to me in severe tones as I groggily open my eyes each lunchtime.
"Why do you insist on being a Night Owl MM? Eh? Why cant you be an Early Bird? The health benefits are so much better. No doubt Night Owls are more creative and interesting as compared to well... the rather boring Early Birds, says this article that has so many references, but statistics prove that they have twice as many health problems MM. Twice."

*Grunt grumble groan snooze.*

I think Ive established from the past week or so that I am ABSOLUTELY NOT a morning person. I'm barely alive between the hours of 6 and 11 in the morning.

I exaggerate, of course.
*Rolls eyes.*
I have been able to keep awake during the exams - 9.30 to 12.30am. (With the exception of General English- snooze fest if ever there was one.)

Nevertheless, my body clock has been well and truly destroyed this March- April. Smashed against a wall of granite, steamrolled by a gigantic truck, thrown off the Grand Canyon, whichever your imagination pleases. I doubt I shall ever be the same. My health is ruined and I have shaved off 10 years of my life. Nice accomplishment I think, for this month.

On a celebratory note, I wrote my last Sanskrit exam on the 11th. My last sanskrit exam EVER! (I do not think I will fail this one, unless the Gormless Lady reads this post. Fingers crossed.)

So bring out the champagne!
Never again EVER will have to attend those absolutely meaningless classes.
Never again will I have to stare at her lip movements in a desperate attempt to make sense of what shes saying.
Never again will I have to worry that she's secretly plotting to fail us all (which she did first sem mid term)
Never again will I have to pretend to like her, smile sickeningly at her (that took effort), and be polite to her when I was seething with rage from within.

Ah the Gormess Lady has gotten on many a nerve. She's stomped on them all in fact.
But now its over.
OVER!!!
And in celebration I shall write a little free verse addressed to her.

Go jump
in a
Well.

The particular well you
so eloquently
described
In third sem text book:

"If yany fuvar legged animal is going to be
dying
in a vell,
then what we must be going to be doing is,
to be
DRAYNING the vell,
and wiping the
REMAYNING water with a cloth."

Go jump
in that
Well.

Travel Time Entertainment

Something we saw that made us laugh during the second bus ride to Pondy. :D

Catching the Bus- Pondy

Okay, so we went to Pondy. Me Osh NiceHair and NiceEyes, for a lovely two day break.

NiceEyes and Osh planned the whole thing... bus tickets and everything, while I sat around wondering if we were going to go or not and placing bets with my mum.

So anyway, we turn up there at Kalasipalya bus stop, where our travel agent's shop is and where he has promised us the bus will leave at 9.45pm.
We sat there, bus didnt come.
Its ten o' clock.

Finally the travel agent guy leads us through the rain and squelching mud to this rickety bus one would imagine chickens are transported in.

Thats our bus.

We get in and Osh and me find our seat numbers: 15, 16, 17, 18.
There's a boy sitting there. I tell him to get up, he throws attitude at me. I tell him this is our seat, he refuses to budge. I yell at him loudly in Kannada, he looks uncomfortable and sidles out. Me and Osh sit down.

"What the hell. First of all this bus is nothing we expected or paid for! Then this dude tries to grab our seat! What the hell!"
"Seriously MM! No way are we moving from here! We've paid for these seats, we sit in them, thats that!"

Coupla minutes later, drunk very loud, very authoritative conductor comes and tells us in no uncertain terms that we have to get up. I shout again, and look to the window for help from our good for nothing travel agent. He tells me yes yes, we have to get up.

We get up and are led to the front of the bus where drunk rude loud conductor tells us the story.

Our original bus has broken down, travel agent has requested him for four seats on this bus, and out of the kindness of his heart, he has agreed.

Two seats on the bench opposite the driver (which seats four, but which now has to be shared by six)
And two "mission" seats.

"What the hell is that?"
"Ingine ma, ingine."

Two of us'd have to sit on the bloody engine, next to the driver. One can only imagine how burnt our behinds would be after ten hours of that.

We're angry. But we want to get to Pondy. If this is how it has to be done, so be it.
After telling travel agent we'd be back for full refund, we set off, NiceHair on the "ingine", NiceEyes and Osh on the seat, me on Osh's lap.

To my right, pregnant lady, half sitting on husband, half on us, throwing up at regular intervals. Couldnt have been older than any of us. We gave her half our water, she was really grateful. Whispered to me in Tamil, next morning, that her bus stop was coming, and that I should get ready to grab her seat for ourselves before any of the other old hags caught it.

To my left, fat lady in green saree with loads of big big moogbottu and other jewelery, muttering curses at us in Tamil. When I cursed her back in Tamil, she was shocked out of her senses. It felt gooooood. That lady was a real pill. She even hit NiceEyes in the middle of the night. The driver shouted at her then and threatened to throw her off the bus if she didnt start behaving. Real nice chap, he was. Old man, sympathised with us.

NiceHair was stuck with this scheming lady who side-ily came and sat on the engine with her, and refused to get up when Osh decided that her legs were killing her, and that she'd brave the burning engine anyway.
The two of them had to manage on that tiny spot of lava for the last seven hours, in addition to it all, being nudged and pushed around by her.

Bus broke down in the night and we were delayed for half an hour.
We asked sidey lady to shift a little so that Osh had some place to breathe. It wasnt even her goddam seat in the first place for crying out loud.
Pompous old paati sitting behind the driver butts her nose in. This was way too much to take. I yelled at her loudly in Tamil and told her to mind her own business. She shut up. Driver came and peace was restored.

We slept not at all that whole night.

We stopped at 5.30am. But we weren't in Pondy.
We had to take another bus to get there.

The driver was amazing though. I tell you, my knowing Tamil had such benefits. Immediate camaraderie. He didnt let us take the bus the rest were taking, he got us one with seats, and bought us the tickets, advised us to inform the police about this bugger travel agent who took so much money from us, and waved us off, the dear.

What adventures I tell you.
Caught half an hour's shut eye before we finally reached Pondy.
Aaaargh what a journey.

Relief, Sweet Relief

...last week.
I got the internship at Saatchi & Saatchi
In the creative department. Yay!

Big name. So even if its absolute torture (which I'm sure it wont be, Mr Shenoy), I have that on my resume.

Im psyched actually. And thankful. Cant wait.

17 Second Conversation

Today, Birds' Park, me Osh and The Other MM, dying a slow slow death.
We made so many calls I kind of really did not care after a certain point.
In fact I found it difficult not to burst out laughing while this one was going on.

Me: Hello, is it SoandSo of SoandSo Ad Agency?
RudeDude: Yes.
Me: Hi, my name is MM and Im a second year Media Studies Student from Christ College. We're looking for internships over the summer, and we were wonde...
RudeDude: No.
Me: Sorry? We were wondering if we could set up a meeti...
RudeDude: No.
Me: No internships available at all? One slot, two slots? Anythi...
RudeDude: No.
Me: You're sure. You dont even want to meet us. Take a look at our resumes? Have a small chat perhaps?
RudeDude: No.
Me: Thanks, thats nice of you. Have a good day.

Other MM: That was quick.
Me: 17 seconds.
Osh: We could set a record for most number of rejections in an hour.

It is a trying time, this end sem period.

Some of my photography

I discovered Flickr recently. Convenient.
I put some of my pics up there.

A Random Bit of Jan-Feb

A post scribbled sporadically over Jan and Feb.

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I have to have to have to make a little mention about a small obsession I once had with a band that call themselves McFly. I was in love with them. Yes. Well and truly.
It was Snum who first introduced me to them.
"MM, you have GOT to check out McFly... you know, that non descript band from Just My Luck, the movie starring Lindsay Lohan that we watched in the theatres ages ago and bitched about constantly for months after?"
"Oh them. Pshaw."
"No really. They're hot. Not to mention hilarious."
So I grudgingly went down to YouTube and watched a couple of their vids.
The four of them together are absolutely hilarious. I was in love. With them all.

Now that is all just so January.

Now I'm just in love with Tom Fletcher. I shall marry him one day. Just see if I dont.
Only kidding.
Snum however is still completely insanely madly obsessed with them. Oh my munch, when will you grow out of these crazed fads?

I am also in love with SteandKel. If YOU can understand their accents and think they're hilarious, contact me ASAP!
18.03.07 PS: Their latest video is crap. Try their earlier ones.
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The Exams. Well whatever. I totally messed up sanskrit (would you blame me?) and opt eng. *makes wry face*
Photography everyone finished in one hour. The last half hour Y was turning around and making weird faces at me, there was that much time left and everyone was so bored, the paper was that effortless.
I have a feeling this should really depress me, but Im choosing to let it entertain me, just for now.
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I was still writing during the last fifteen minutes of photography exam, and was much rebuked by classmates for this. I would like to take this opportunity to explain why.
It wasnt because I was attempting all the questions twice, or because I wrote ten pages for each 2 mark question.

The secret is, Im a procrastinator.

There, Ive said it.
If I have two hours to do something, I wont bloody finish it off in the first hour. I'll sit there and crib in my head about how boring it is. I'll sleep. I'll even day dream. And in the last half an hour, I will get to writing.
Its not the best way of doing things, I agree, but it is more challenging. If you finish it all off too early, you dont feel like you've accomplished anything. But if theres this nailbiting finish, and a struggle to finish on time, you feel like you've actually done something at the end of it all.
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The munches are the same way. Thats why our psych stall went up just a little bit late. But we got 20 on 20 for it. Yay! We did do a good job, even if I do say so myself. The topic was what made it really interesting. "
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Su2's birthday. Treated us in that rooftop place the sweetheart. It was fun, except for the puke inducing orange shirts of the world. And the back sprain. And the dude that gave us a bar of chocolate, which Snum promptly put in the little bill book as a tip for the waiter.

Su1's birthday. I like how we were dropped back in style. And how we got to party despite the ban (shh) which I do not think we'll be able to do for a while now. The funnest part was being with the munches, after, before, during. :)
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Jodhaa Akbar was quite nice. I loved the costumes and jewelery *gives girly sigh* And Hrithik *girlier sigh*
Enchanted we watched by mistake, but it wasnt too bad. Osh was unbelievably embarrassing though :D
Jumper was kinda cool. And Hayden Christensen is HOT. I totally enjoyed Shattered Glass.
Osh is obsessed with PS I Love You. Says it brilliantly she does, the munch.

We are all now officially broke.
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The Gormless Lady- A Passage

Somehow or the other, the Gormless Lady always manages to feature a lot here at Leaves.
She irks me so.

She recently gave us a bit of indigestion over our CIA (Continious Internal Assessment) and threatened to give me Y and Su1 zero marks out of 20.
("Seeee, you are all going to be taking this too lightly. And so I am going to be having to take some measures for this. Because otherwise you people will never be learning.")
But she cooled down after four days and allowed us to present our assignment which went off quite ok.

I have no one to really rant about it all with. My classmates who've taken this blessed language- RampagingBull, Y and Su1 to name a few- are all pretty much resigned to the whole thing. They couldnt be less bothered that she has massacred both logic and the english language and handed it over to us in a small sickly yellow book that cost us each 60 bucks. And which she refused to let us xerox for 10 bucks instead.
But I just cant get over the whole thing. And Leaves is the perfect outlet for my frustrations.

A passage of translation from her text book. Word for word. Down to the last punctuation mark. Now YOU tell me what you'd write in one of her exams.

"Those who after gaining knowledge, but never respects teaches even though living near to them, never service them ion mind, words or by action, for them excess they sin due to them killing a child will be affecting other than these no one will be more sinful like it is duty of teacher to lead the student to gain knowledge for self emancipation, in the same manner it is righteous attitude to do services for teacher."

I mean, seriously. It'd be okay if it was just the grammar that was wrong, but if the thing just doesnt make any sense, something has to be said.

Please dont judge my college based on the gormless lady though. They've been tryng to get rid of her forever, but she's just not budging, and she's got a scholorship and is employed by the govt or something, so they cant do anything.
Reason Im feeling friendly to college is because they have realised how stupid they were about the Titan Eye+ vouchers which I mentioned here, that they gave us for topping the class. And as a compensatory measure, they gave us all gift vouchers for Strand Book Stall. Goody.
Also they gave us 700 bucks for winning Creative writing at InBloom.
So I like them now. Yes.

Things that Amuse me and Things that Dont

My local Beauty Parlour amuses me. For ten bucks, you get your eyebrows done really well, and you get a bit of entertainment thrown in for free. The parlour has become a place for the middle aged women of our locality to congregate and gossip about their neighbours. So while Im sitting in the chair being threaded, but otherwise completely ignored, I catch up on all the latest happenings in my locality.

"Ay, Reena, ning hosa story gothidiya?"
(Ay Reena, are you knowing the new story?)

"Gothilla kane helbidu bega"
(I dont know ya, tell off quickly.)

"Dod mane kaka angadi pakka ganda hendathi ibbaru suss-side madbitru, car alli, BDA Park mundhe ."
(Big house next to condiments store husband wife both did off suss-side in their car in front of BDA park.)

"Usshusho nijvaglu?"
(Oh my great heavens, for sooth?)

"Howdu. Yako gothilla. Aurella tumba richu. High class. Status. Magalu Switzerland allidale bere."
(Yes. Why, who knows. They are all very rich. High class. Status. Daughter is in Switzerland also.)

"Debit allidransate."
(They must have been in debt.)

"Hucch tane adu. Dodmane itkondu chit fund yella madbekita?"
(Madness only that is. Keeping big house, did they have to do chit funds and all?)

"Ayyo bidu. Psychic aurella"
(Ayyo, leave. They are all persons having the ability to predict the future.)
I think she meant psycho.
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It amuses me how much like a video game this Sunday was.

It was one of those family functions again, and since mum's in the US, I got front seat in the car, and there was no talk about the youngsters of today. It was however very much like watching my dad play a video game.
I felt the same rush as I did so many years ago when I watched my cousins make Super Mario dodge those owl monsters.
Mind that cow, dont kill that limping dog in the process, look out for that stream of saree clad woman sauntering just ahead through the fast moving traffic. Squeeze car between pedestrians who occupy half the road, and that broken down truck. Dodge Maruti Van at twelve o' clock! Ah, you havent bashed into anything. Unbelievable. High score, 1880 points.
I dont think I'll ever get over how ridiculous the roads are.

Lunch on banana leaves. Lots of it. So much that you have to refuse certain foods. How? Place your hand above your leaf, look server in the eye and say "BEDA" firmly. Servers are temperamental though, and if they get the feeling that you really really dont want that puliohare they're bearing, they will vindictively pour a bucketful of it over your hand and onto your leaf.
Dodge that ghee! Poor dad, hands are all spattered with it. Minus 20 points.

Relatives. Lots of them. Asking annoying questions. Particularly Silly Crow. Here she comes, from behind that group of auntys chattering about their jewelery. Dodge her! Career behind group of high energy five year olds, run outside quickly without her noticing. You've made it! Score! 40 points. Wait... Oh no, she's ambushed you near the hand-wash. Caw caw!
Sorry, Game Over.
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As I was curled up on the sofa battling a crippling stomach pain late last night and switching channels in an attempt to distract myself, I chanced upon an awards show. Filmfare was it? yes.
I have to admit, it quite amused me. Ah, these poor celebs.

Kareena dances chaotically on stage. Immediate close up of Shahid who squirms uncomfortably and then smiles plastically.
Shahid wins award for Jab We Met. Switch to close up of Kareena who squirms uncomfortably and then looks off coldly into the distance.
Saif Ali Khan bursts onto stage chewing gum. Close up of Kareena looking triumphant.
Saif Ali Khan cavorts tantalisingly on a balcony with some frisky looking, very fit foreigner gals. Close up of Kareena biting her lip angrily and shaking her head ever so slightly.
Saif Ali Khan cavorts some more. Close up of Kareena looking downcast. Close up of Shahid looking away trying not to laugh.

Dharmendra speaks in English but makes almost no sense at all, and sounds horribly egotistical.
Vivek Oberoi almost cries while receiving his award from dear old dad.
Neha Dhupia screws up her words and looks very shocked at herself a moment after.
I laugh at them all. It amuses my sadistic mind. My pain seems small compared to theirs. Poor celebs. It was all very amusing.
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Those Orkut fortunes also amuse me.
Today's fortune: You are going to have a very comfortable old age
Mind you, this only today's fortune.

Yesterday, Orkut said "You will be recognised and honoured as a community leader."
All hail MM!
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Sad news. Amusement park rides dont amuse me anymore. :(
We went to Wonderla before the exams, me Snum Osh and Zz. It was lots of fun. We laughed a LOT about I have no idea what.
But the rides were NOT exhilarating. At all. Before at least they'd give me a tingle in the tummy or something. Now nothing.
The Pirate Ship was okay, and perhaps Y scream . The rest was all just sissy rubbish. Which is really disappointing. The rides were really fun for me the first two times. Oh well, I shall just have to go bungee jumping the next time Im feeling adventurous. Cowabunga!
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Oshsays VIII- Pitching

Some ridiculous conversation:
MM: I think I'd be able to pitch an idea best, if no one was actually listening to me.
Snum: I think I'd be able to pitch an idea best, if I was alone.
Osh: I dont think I'll ever be able to pitch an idea to anyone successfully.
We laughed loudest at Osh.

"'Ooown". Valentine Witch. "Uno momento". Pitch and Volume issues. Red roses. Matching Purple I'd-rather-not-says. Videos and hysterical laughter.

An Oshsay: "MM do you want two five buckses?" *grin*

Weekend with Bestest

It was last weekend, which just goes to show you how lazy I am.
It was the weekend I fell in love.
With a dog named Ceasar, who is a Boxer. By breed, not by profession of course, I'd never be foolish enough to fall in love with a boxing dog.

It wasnt love at first sight, Im afraid. Im not too fond of dogs jumping all over me, so I cowered for a while behind Bestest while she enjoyed feeling all powerful and in control.

After Ceazu quieted down a bit, I began to like him.
In a matter of hours, this like had blossomed into full blown love.

He followed me everywhere. Like Mary's Little Lamb (I was Mary)
Even if he was asleep and snoring, if I walked out the room, he bounded up and pattered along behind me. I was the object of his affections. He kept throwing me adoring looks. I felt so darn loved. Once in the morning he just came over to where I was sitting, placed his head on my knee, and fell asleep.
Which left me in a bit of a predicament actually, because I wanted to get up and go have breakfast, but how cute is that?
I realise he's not the handsomest of dogs, but what do looks matter in the end anyway? Really, Ceazu's like a human. Muah. Darling dog.

Me and Bestest had a top notch time.

Uncoordination.
Daft broom-unknowing supermarket dude.
Pringles: 69 bucks. Expression on Bestest's face as I stuffed my face with them: Priceless.
Melting Hershey's kisses in a saucepan.
Watching them burn.
Devising other methods. Success.
Cream and Fudge Factory Specials, which you get at the Factory for around 100 bucks, but that I can make for under ten. (Contact MM at 23456547)
Stuff off shoulders.
Reading stuff written long long ago :D
Laughing like the hysterical geese we used to be.
Talking about the kind of geese we've become.
Walking. Open field. Strange Christmas carol music.
Staying up till 5.30.

Brilliant way to end those blasted exams. :)

On a completely unrelated note, I called someone a blasted screwt today by mistake. My dad only looked quizzically at me for a minute before letting it go.

Long due post on Class Trip

I know it was a million years ago, but I had to mention here on my blog about how Snum fought with the monkeys.

There were loads of them there at Shivgange. Loads.

At first sight they're all really cute. Sitting in hoards and hugging each other, chit chattering and staring at you with those darling eyes... Awwwww!

But once you've spent a little time with them, you get a little glimpse into the mind of the monkey, and you realise what cruel mindsets these evil simians actually possess.

They stole. Blantantly without any signs of remorse.
Rem's food packet. Grabbed it viciously, left the poor child screaming, went and perched atop a high rock and proceeded to get the raitha all over its face.
Nat's pack of Yummies. While she was feeding them to Basanti, the dog that accompanied us up the hill.

Nat's second pack of Yummies. She tried to fight, but the monkey was too vicious to be reckoned with.

One baby monkey grabbed onto my backpack, while I was wearing it. I'd have liked to make a bigger deal of this, but unfortunately other events took place which far surpassed this one in magnitude.

They fought.
With the dogs. That was entertaining. NOT.

With us, as they tried to DRAG our bags (which were several pounds heavier than themselves) away to their little dens, wherever they are.

They engaged in mortal combat with Snum. (Well not, mortal combat, but bad enough.) First was on top of the mountain when one tried to grab her bag from her. Snum held eye contact with it for 15 minutes. As if daring it to attack her. I just stood on the side muttering prayers and begging Snum to leave it alone. They circled. The monkey hissed. Snum said "Yes, TAKE my bag why dont you? Just try it you furry little midget." At least, thats what I imagine she said, she was talking under her breath. The monkey soon realised the bag was not worth all this trouble and left Snum alone.

The second incident was much scarier. As we were leaving the place halfway up where we'd stopped to eat, a monkey who was busy eating someone's left over rice (which it had stolen no doubt) was much upset by a line of us who all by mistake trampled over its cuisine. At some point this all became too much for the monkey. Unfortunately that particular point was the point when Snum had, laughing and talking with the person behind her, just placed one foot gingerly on the rice. The enraged monkey with a blood curdling squeak hurled itself forward and BIT SNUM ON THE ANKLE. The next thing you'd expect is for Snum to have squealed in shock, or yelled in surprise, or started crying. But no, in the blink of an eye, and in a completely unprecedented move, Snum turned around, bent over and yelled "That bloody hurt you asshole!" into the monkey's face, much to the shock and later amusement of everyone around. The monkey leapt backward and continued hissing. Images of this incident are etched in my memory permanently. Snum turned out to be okay, and did NOT need rabies shots thank you very much.

Oh and also, we were almost attacked by a swarm of bees.

Other than that, a nice pleasant trip.
And now I must abruptly end, and go and attempt to mug up that crazed text book the gormless lady set us in a desperate hope to pass tomorrow's exam.

Ker to go to Kerala?

My post titles get cheesier by the day.



Anyway, see photos. Notice how I have cleverly uploaded picture of self with face turned away?

The Kumarakom (Snum spelt it Kumaaroakurm, try getting your tongue around that) trip was a lot of fun. Very revelatory. I learnt a great deal. Also, since I've gotten into documenting things here at Leaves, I should talk a bit about the people I met there.

Swedish Couple Next Door. Rather ahead in their years. Maybe in their late 40s or so. They still seemed quite adoring of each other. Surprisingly, it wasnt sickening. It was very sweet. I got on with them better than I would most Indian families I think. Would you believe my luck? The husband was working for a radio station and the lady was a psychologist! I had a nice long chat with them about their professions. They told us about the former half of their trip to India, and about how poor old Sweden gets virtually no sunlight. They were a breath of fresh air. That, is apparently abundant in Sweden.

The Two Babies. Very cute. I dont know why I have this sudden liking for tiny tots. Very adorable.

Younger Baby's Mum. She'd done the same course as Im doing now! In Bangalore, but at MCC. She did wonders for me, really. My dad is now slightly more convinced that I will be able to support myself once I finish studying. She works as a technical writer, and her work sounded pretty interesting.

Hotel Owner, who told me "Dont worry ma, all deds are like this. My daaghter will also have to cop in the same way if she takes me and my wife for a holyday."

We went boating a lot- hoseboat, mawter boat, cundry boat. And I lazed on the hammock to my hearts content. Lot of egrets here also. Crows as well, but not as troublesome as some Ive encountered before.

Its a really beautiful place though. I was greatly reminded of The God of Small Things. Really enjoyed myself. Nice memories.

Goa Odyssey About

I havent immortalised the Goa trip, I realise, here on my blog. And so even though its all ancient history and all, Im writing about it now, and classifying it under reminisces.

I want to be sure to remember:

How jubilant we were when Snum's uncle gave us the thumbs up.

How we planned the whole thing, in Osh's hostel on the comp downstairs... laughing ourselves silly and getting confused over the scale in the faulty map we got off the net.

How we almost missed the bus getting there.

How very motion sick Osho got.

How cute Shahid Kapoor was on the bus, even though I didnt understand what the hell he was saying.

How limited my choice was at The National Restaurant where we stopped for dinner at 11.30pm, just as we were getting off to sleep.

Goan Mum and Son in Black Leather Jacket, and the Throwup Kids.

How the AC bus felt like an aircraft when they gave us the blankets and water bottles. And how the curves felt like turbulance.

"Yella ok, Cool drink yake?" Rajnikanth ad for beer. Gag me.

Heavy rains in Karwar that put us four hours behind schedule.

Empty quarters and the egrets Snum's dad put there to spy on us. Silly birds, they dont move at ALL. We thought they were statues until we saw them moving on the third day. "Oh look, how nice! They've made a little park with little life-like statuettes of birds in them!" said Snum foolishly when we arrived. Well, no actually, she didnt. I just like teasing Snum.

How our little cottage thing was called Colva.

How we caught the rickety bus from Verrem and got to Panjim in 5 rupees and 15 excrutiating minutes.

The TORTURE of finding that the bloody camera was not working, and having to buy that disposable one at Panjim.
The JOY of having it repaired on the third day, even though it made us almost miss the cruise.

Taking 114 pictures of ourselves in 2 and a half days.

Dominoes pizza.

How good it felt to be roomies, ordering in. The closeness. Having long talks in front of the TV at night.

How all of us were dead to the world until 9am on the second morning, even though the previous night we had vowed and sweared we would be up and about early.

Aguada fort and the death of Snum's broze chappals. Yes, it was here that they finally snapped. For the last time. Muttering as she held the remains in her hands, tottering about on the hot sand, Snum agreed it was all for the best.

The burial in the cupboard.

How concerned we were that Abhishek Bachchan was brushing off Aishwarya in a very obvious manner as she looked on with puppy dog eyes.

Anwar, the sweetheart (Snum's to be precise). Our blessed means of transport.

The Ferry Boat, Osh's unfortunate seating arrangement, the cool couple with the grandparents and kids.

How amazing those dolphins looked, if only for that split second.

Lime soda- heaven in a cup. Between the three of us, I think we consumed 70 of those cups during our entire trip.

How Snum kept dropping straws.

How frickin hot it was, and how grateful I was that I lived in Bangalore.

The Daily Cycle Thing. Hilarious. I'm glad we found it hilarious, so soon.

The sun umbrella not being big enough at lunchtime on Calangute beach.

Snum and Osh on the water scooter and me parasailing. Woo hoo! (See right: me.)

How we wanted to go again.

The IT couple who took pictures.

Bargaining at Anjuna beach and getting things for less than half the original price. Which Im sure the items were still not worth.

Getting caught in that throng of people carrying candles and singing prayers. Eerie.

Lovely looking restaurant. Ghastly tasting wine which burnt hole in pockets.

Dona Paula beach, cowboy hats.

Miramar beach- the absolute most best one of them all!! :) :) :) (see left)

Old Goa, the hot and horribly boring museum that Snum enjoyed.

Numerous ATM visits that I would actually wait for, because we got to stand in the AC for a bit.

Candolim beach in the afternoon on the recliners, with the cute dog. Now I dont go around stroking strange dogs, having had no experience with canines before, but Snum does. The second she placed her hand behind his ears, he shut his eyes, lay right down and fell straight asleep. Like clockwork. :D

Night cruise, weird drunk Hindi MC.

Suffocating the next morning.

The Bodgeshwara temple. Somehow temples dont mean much to me. Anything to me.

Deciding we'd been spending too much on food, and hence stopping at Mapusa town, buying 3 vada pavs for 6 rupees each and ketchup packets (1 rupee each) for that day's lunch.

Patting ourselves on the back, and talking about how clever and sensible we were, the entire journey to Vagathur beach.

THEN having it get ATTACKED and HACKED open by those VICIOUS crows that were there, when we left it unattended for a bleeding SPLIT second.
(See above: One of the culprit crows. Do not let its mild demenour fool you. Vicious, utterly vicious.)

Huge amounts of shopping at Vagathur and Anjuna. Being stunned speechless by the shop people's accents. We just looked at each other's expressions and snorted from restrained laughter I think, the first time. They werent too nice to us after that.

Coming back home and video-ing our many splendiferous purchases.

The Midnight Beach Sting Ray Incident. *grin* Titos.

The last day, hitching a ride, shopping at Panjim for the necessary and the unnecessary, ATM crawling, Osh career advising. Eating at a special place Snum recommended which we'd been saving for the last day. Laughing ourselves silly there.

Being very frustrated that that particular day was a dry day.

Settling bills, frenzied packing, frenzied video taking and being horrifically late for the bus again, which gave me several more mini heart attacks.

Reaching there, finding it still hadnt arrived and hence trying to amuse ourselves at random shops nearby.

All of us being at the bus stop in the hysterical mad moods I do so love, laughing ourselves silly, and scandalising several of the people there who were waiting for their buses.
I shocked the wits out of a couple of three year olds and Snum somehow managed to cause an old couple to get up and move two benches away from us, much to Osh's approval.

Me being livid with the stupid jerky bus and the fat man snoring loudly next to me the whole goshdarned night.

Wanting to cry about it all being over the next morning, as we bid each other a tearful, dramatic and very filmi goodbye at Majestic.